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Kim LaCapria's avatar

thank you! grief is strange in that it is so universal, yet so isolating. i know exactly what you're talking about, though, it's like it breaks open your capacity to experience this gigantic range of emotions. i'm at seven years (my husband), so a similar distance, and i always say if i told myself things like this five years ago, i'd probably be SO MAD at me. it's just wild to get to where an absence has valuable substance to it <3

and i'm sorry for the loss of your mom <3

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Charlie Connell's avatar

Right? It's crazy that it's something everybody on Earth experiences, but no two people seem to experience it the same way. It's such a weird trip that is always changed. And thank you, I'm sorry that you lost your husband and are able to understand this feeling. It's a pretty shitty club to be in, but nice to share it with others.

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Kim LaCapria's avatar

omg, exactly this: "It's a pretty shitty club to be in, but nice to share it with others." like, i know so many awesome people because we share this awful thing. and thank you <3

the way things are now i've gotten to a point where i usually immediately context that information about my husband with "but i'm not sad because i love him so much!" and i feel like it rarely makes sense. it's just like this bizarre void in our relationships with people where we don't anticipate anything beyond "grief," and there's kind of "post-grief" where you can once again experience that person as who they are to you and not "a trauma" <3

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Tate Eknaian's avatar

LOVED reading this. Grief is such a trip. Thank you for sharing this piece!! xo

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Sarah Lally's avatar

Charlie... I've been grieving for 2 decades and I've never had a way to explain the feeling that grief gives me but the idea that I'm being haunted by it is actually so comforting and lovely. Thanks for giving me the words. x

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Jane Pratt's avatar

I love this comment and can't wait for Charlie to see it too. Thank you

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Jesse James  Madre's avatar

This is beautiful buddy! Just like you. They never really leave us.

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Jane Pratt's avatar

I was the first person (I think) to get to read Charlie's beautiful and moving story. But I haven't been able to bring myself to comment, because every time I come back to look at it, starting with seeing the opening image of Martha and Charlie together, I get so emotional.

There's a line in the next last paragraph that makes me cry every time I read it, but I'm not even going to single it out here because I don't want to mess with it by taking it out of its perfect context.

I love this story, Charlie, and I love you for writing it and sharing it here.

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