One partial little story just to get the ball rolling here is that for my 18th birthday, my friends tied me to a chair and fed me 18 shots of Bacardi 151. I remember up through about the first nine. Those were the days!
Jane! This is both horrifying and heroic. Tied to a chair like some kind of rum-based hostage situation?? I’m crying. Bacardi 151 is basically jet fuel—your insides must’ve looked like a tiki bar exploded. I salute you for remembering nine of those shots. That’s where my memory would've stopped and I would've astral projected out of my body!
Truly, that era was like Fear Factor but make it festive. Thanks for kicking things off with such chaotic beauty—more, please!
Ha ha thank you I have so many more! You're right that it was like a hostage situation and I considered putting quotation marks around the word friends for that reason, but they really were my friends and I was fully compliant. Not even Stockholm syndrome. I was leading the charge - always!
Holy shit. Your reference to 151 reminds me of a lunch shift I was working at Planet Shithole, when these two professional ladies came in for lunch. One of them ordered a strawberry daiquiri and I asked her if she wanted it with 151 (that was exactly how I said it--I didn't say "Bacardi"). She said yes, so when I came back with her drink, she took a sip.
Her eyes got wide and she looked up at me. "This has rum in it!"
"Um... yeah. It's... a daiquiri."
She ordered four more over the course of the next hour. By the time lunch was over, she was so loaded that her friend said she'd have to take her home instead of back to the office.
Ok I’ll see what I can do. I’d written a short series of essays last year about my time in the biz, but looking back at them now makes me cringe. 😅 So I’ll have to cough up something else.
I am an elder millennial but my High school friends did make me buy the liquor with someone’s college sisters ID … bc I was tall with boobs. I also had no chill (shocker) but my braces were off.
I keep inserting myself here, sorry! But this is bringing up so many memories. Now I'm thinking about your bra stuffing technique and how brilliant that was. I did the old buy a bra with a cup size 2 sizes too big and put toilet paper or paper towels in there. If the bra itself was stiff enough, it did work though!
Genevieve, I love your story! I did something similar- I used a British accent and suppose I distracted liquor store employees with that plus charm and a bit of flirtation at times. I've always been obsessed with London (and have a trip booked for next year) so the accent was something I had perfected. I also used the actress angle! I even dabbled in acting so it was super fun. I looked and still look younger than my age. I'm convinced that with confidence, you can pull anything off.
I do not drink anymore. I'm glad the new generations are slowing it down. It was fun at the time however, and yes it was something to do without all the tech we have now.
Thanks for the story! I'm glad we both slowed it down. I remember thinking after college was a delineation point where some of us stopped drinking as much and got on with more typical working lifestyles and other people who like likely had addiction issues, did not stop.
Omg, twin flames across the pond! I LOVE that you perfected a British accent and used it as your underage ID. Honestly, I’m convinced you and I would've made a great tag-team duo—me with my fake Luxembourg credentials and padded bra, you with your London flair and actress charm. We would’ve owned the liquor store circuit in the '80s!
And yes—confidence is EVERYTHING. It's practically its own fake ID.
I’m also glad the kids are slowing it down now… but dang, there was magic in the mischief, wasn’t there?
I never did an accent, but I was able to buy alcohol from the age of 16 in my small town! I would just walk in, swan around like I owned the place, walk to the counter and be like “Hello! How’s your night going?” and they’d just play along and let me have it.
The first time this worked was when I stayed at my friend’s place, took a taxi down to the bottle-o (Australian for liquor store), and got the driver to wait for me while I went in. When I came back out to the taxi, the driver was like “Oh, just getting some wine for dinner? Good on ya” and I was like “Yes, yes I am…”
I’m happy he thought I was old enough to both drink and buy wine to have with dinner, and definitely not just getting a cheap bottle of vodka for my friend and I to get drunk with!
My cover was almost blown once when my friend, who had braces and no chill, came in with me. I said I didn’t have ID cos it was in “my other wallet.” They still let me buy it “just this once” without ID though!
Wow, you're good! (And Australian?! I have not been there since I was there to start sassy magazine, and I am dying, dying, dying to go back, but that's neither here nor there!)
"Who had braces and no chill" is such a good line and says it all so so succinctly. Thank you for that!
Ohmygosh -- how fun. I think it was the thrill of getting away with it, right?!?! Now today I'm a "woman of a certain age" and they card me anyway because they're ALL NARCS! (JK, but they're not as fun as the convenience store owners of our day!)
I used to buy from the corner store with my older sisters old (reject) fake ID when I was 15+. When my older sister turned 21 during Thanksgiving break (I was 18) I went in with an old copy of her drivers license. I smiled sweetly and asked if they gave birthday discounts. The shop owner looked at me with a shocked looked and said "You've been coming in for years with your fake ID and now that you're finally of age you want a discount, NO WAY". Hee Hee
Omg you guys!!! These stories are KILLING me — keep 'em coming! Share in the shame! I would probably puke on sight if I had to drink an Orange Splash Cooler now. My friends and I call our current drinking style “keeping it cute” because at this age? We best.
My boyfriend Ed was a big skiier, and at one point he skiied over a mogul and the tip of his skis knocked his two front teeth out. It took a long time before they could replace them, and in the meanwhile he wore a retainer with teeth attached to the back of it. He used to pop it out before trying to buy booze, figuring no one would card a toothless dude. It also worked a great deal of the time.
Gigi is nothing less than a sorceress. From youthful shenanigans to getting upgraded at hotels and on flights, I’ve witnessed her magic firsthand. I’m glad as her huzzy, it’s on my side. The other takeaway is a backstory is essential when skirting the rules.
Well, hello there, sir! Would you know that just today I was thinking that one thing that Gigi (hee hee) has not written about that I would love for her to is her current or even past relationships. How fortuitous that you just reminded me of that! You two could co-author it even! Seriously, I love her too and agree she is a sorceress.
Awwwww, Jane! Stop! (Start...) Stop. (Start...) Imagine hand gestures going "stop" but then "come on" because I could never get enough praise from the Highest Priestess Herself! 👑
He and I will get right on that (write-on that!). You're about to get a double-dose of Duo Scorpio Power Couple Insanity!!!! ♏️🦂♏️🦂
I was a giant fucking nerd in high school who lived vicariously through my sister. I bet she has fake ID stories for days.
This article and the comments are the absolute highlight of my day. Who didn’t want to be Tawny Kitaen? (Minus the romantic involvement with David Coverdale — I was obsessed with Ralph Macchio until I was 15 and discovered Johnny Depp).
Thank GOD you both came around to Johnny! I can also now make you jealous by telling you of my personal encounters with him. I had none with Kirk or Ralph.
Ha ha ha it wasn't just a one time encounter so it's gonna take me a minute, but you know I will give you the goods. And if I don't get to write it out here, I'll definitely spill everything about it in our next live chat. Love you for caring!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I love that you got all my references! I, too, discovered Johnny Depp and left Kirk Cameron for him--lol. (which, truth be told, would solidify my taste in men for years to come.) 🤦🏻♀️
Oh yes, not a problem with him per se…more his reputation and his career. He’s so ridiculously talented, though. I secretly hope he makes an amazing RDJ-style comeback.
Right?!?! My celeb crushes back then were first, Scott Baio and then Kirk. WTF, Me? It's okay. I then graduated to Joaquin Phoenix and, finally, my actual husband, who's just as swarthy without all the brooding.
Who the fuck would WANT to know Scott & Kirk?! Blech! 🤢 And of course you know Joaquin. But you probably won't spill the beans on him, either. Please. I'm dying. I NEED TO KNOW.
Fellow GenXer here. When I was in 6th grade (circa 1984) my friends started bringing booze into school, hiding it in their lockers. We’d take shots of at lunch, breaks, etc. We were only found out when one of the girls came to class (in 6th grade), fully drunk. So yeah, we really did start drinking in middle school.
I put on a Czechoslovakian accent when I was 17. Not to buy booze, because I had so many connections that Fake IDs and trying to purchase with one was for amateurs. I did it just to fool people. I did really well with it, too, until I ran into someone who actually spoke Czech. Game over.
Young GenX here! My graduation year was the peak of all stats on high school smoking. What else are you gonna do when you drink?? I never tried to buy underage, was told I looked like I was in middle school until I was almost 30 and didn’t doubt it. My friends were mostly boys, I learned the best vices fronting a rock band at 16. After school, I was a drunken fairy running thru the white pine forests having stick wars with the boys and drinking handles of hard booze either straight or mixed with 10c frozen lime aid. Polishing off a bottle of sambuca with another high school kid over a game of chutes and ladders on a school night. I started high school as a straightedge honors student and graduated a pregnant hippie 🤭I don’t regret it at all because I’m happy with those memories. GOD I lived. Those boys are my brothers to this day. No more drinking for me, however!!
One partial little story just to get the ball rolling here is that for my 18th birthday, my friends tied me to a chair and fed me 18 shots of Bacardi 151. I remember up through about the first nine. Those were the days!
Jane! This is both horrifying and heroic. Tied to a chair like some kind of rum-based hostage situation?? I’m crying. Bacardi 151 is basically jet fuel—your insides must’ve looked like a tiki bar exploded. I salute you for remembering nine of those shots. That’s where my memory would've stopped and I would've astral projected out of my body!
Truly, that era was like Fear Factor but make it festive. Thanks for kicking things off with such chaotic beauty—more, please!
Ha ha thank you I have so many more! You're right that it was like a hostage situation and I considered putting quotation marks around the word friends for that reason, but they really were my friends and I was fully compliant. Not even Stockholm syndrome. I was leading the charge - always!
Holy shit. Your reference to 151 reminds me of a lunch shift I was working at Planet Shithole, when these two professional ladies came in for lunch. One of them ordered a strawberry daiquiri and I asked her if she wanted it with 151 (that was exactly how I said it--I didn't say "Bacardi"). She said yes, so when I came back with her drink, she took a sip.
Her eyes got wide and she looked up at me. "This has rum in it!"
"Um... yeah. It's... a daiquiri."
She ordered four more over the course of the next hour. By the time lunch was over, she was so loaded that her friend said she'd have to take her home instead of back to the office.
Sounds like you made her day! Nice work!
Please write about your life working at planet shit hole 😝 I have had so many horrifying work experiences and hearing others is always healing
Ok I’ll see what I can do. I’d written a short series of essays last year about my time in the biz, but looking back at them now makes me cringe. 😅 So I’ll have to cough up something else.
I am an elder millennial but my High school friends did make me buy the liquor with someone’s college sisters ID … bc I was tall with boobs. I also had no chill (shocker) but my braces were off.
Hahaha but you had boobs, even more valuable than no braces OR chill.
I keep inserting myself here, sorry! But this is bringing up so many memories. Now I'm thinking about your bra stuffing technique and how brilliant that was. I did the old buy a bra with a cup size 2 sizes too big and put toilet paper or paper towels in there. If the bra itself was stiff enough, it did work though!
One time I just used cotton balls and they fell out when I did my uneven bar routine. 🤦🏻♀️
Noooooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh yes! I may have used cotton balls sometimes too. I'm so sorry that happened to you ha ha
Right?!?! That time I was only in 5th grade so it's a miracle I could come back from that, socially speaking....
😭🤣😬
The picture and caption of you as a gymnast makes me guffaw.
I got in trouble by my gymnastics coach for smoking after a meet. SUCH A REBEL! 🖤
Can you believe I was a Junior Olympic Gymnast who partied like Courtney Love?!?! What a wild time.
Genevieve, I love your story! I did something similar- I used a British accent and suppose I distracted liquor store employees with that plus charm and a bit of flirtation at times. I've always been obsessed with London (and have a trip booked for next year) so the accent was something I had perfected. I also used the actress angle! I even dabbled in acting so it was super fun. I looked and still look younger than my age. I'm convinced that with confidence, you can pull anything off.
I do not drink anymore. I'm glad the new generations are slowing it down. It was fun at the time however, and yes it was something to do without all the tech we have now.
Thanks for the story! I'm glad we both slowed it down. I remember thinking after college was a delineation point where some of us stopped drinking as much and got on with more typical working lifestyles and other people who like likely had addiction issues, did not stop.
Omg, twin flames across the pond! I LOVE that you perfected a British accent and used it as your underage ID. Honestly, I’m convinced you and I would've made a great tag-team duo—me with my fake Luxembourg credentials and padded bra, you with your London flair and actress charm. We would’ve owned the liquor store circuit in the '80s!
And yes—confidence is EVERYTHING. It's practically its own fake ID.
I’m also glad the kids are slowing it down now… but dang, there was magic in the mischief, wasn’t there?
Thanks for reading the piece—it means a lot! 🖤
I never did an accent, but I was able to buy alcohol from the age of 16 in my small town! I would just walk in, swan around like I owned the place, walk to the counter and be like “Hello! How’s your night going?” and they’d just play along and let me have it.
The first time this worked was when I stayed at my friend’s place, took a taxi down to the bottle-o (Australian for liquor store), and got the driver to wait for me while I went in. When I came back out to the taxi, the driver was like “Oh, just getting some wine for dinner? Good on ya” and I was like “Yes, yes I am…”
I’m happy he thought I was old enough to both drink and buy wine to have with dinner, and definitely not just getting a cheap bottle of vodka for my friend and I to get drunk with!
My cover was almost blown once when my friend, who had braces and no chill, came in with me. I said I didn’t have ID cos it was in “my other wallet.” They still let me buy it “just this once” without ID though!
Wow, you're good! (And Australian?! I have not been there since I was there to start sassy magazine, and I am dying, dying, dying to go back, but that's neither here nor there!)
"Who had braces and no chill" is such a good line and says it all so so succinctly. Thank you for that!
My friend w braces and no chill 😂😂😂
Of course we love the same line! (My phone auto corrected that to say wine - I swear to God Siri is into this theme.)
Hahaha I’m sure our taste in wine is likely similar though I’ve almost never seen you drink anything but maybe one sip of something white …
Ohmygosh -- how fun. I think it was the thrill of getting away with it, right?!?! Now today I'm a "woman of a certain age" and they card me anyway because they're ALL NARCS! (JK, but they're not as fun as the convenience store owners of our day!)
I used to buy from the corner store with my older sisters old (reject) fake ID when I was 15+. When my older sister turned 21 during Thanksgiving break (I was 18) I went in with an old copy of her drivers license. I smiled sweetly and asked if they gave birthday discounts. The shop owner looked at me with a shocked looked and said "You've been coming in for years with your fake ID and now that you're finally of age you want a discount, NO WAY". Hee Hee
Omg you guys!!! These stories are KILLING me — keep 'em coming! Share in the shame! I would probably puke on sight if I had to drink an Orange Splash Cooler now. My friends and I call our current drinking style “keeping it cute” because at this age? We best.
My boyfriend Ed was a big skiier, and at one point he skiied over a mogul and the tip of his skis knocked his two front teeth out. It took a long time before they could replace them, and in the meanwhile he wore a retainer with teeth attached to the back of it. He used to pop it out before trying to buy booze, figuring no one would card a toothless dude. It also worked a great deal of the time.
This Is Genius. Way to take lemons and make lemonade (with vodka?).
🤣
I am not naturally funny at all in telling jokes, as you can see. But you make me feel bold to try. For better or worse.
Gigi is nothing less than a sorceress. From youthful shenanigans to getting upgraded at hotels and on flights, I’ve witnessed her magic firsthand. I’m glad as her huzzy, it’s on my side. The other takeaway is a backstory is essential when skirting the rules.
Well, hello there, sir! Would you know that just today I was thinking that one thing that Gigi (hee hee) has not written about that I would love for her to is her current or even past relationships. How fortuitous that you just reminded me of that! You two could co-author it even! Seriously, I love her too and agree she is a sorceress.
Awwwww, Jane! Stop! (Start...) Stop. (Start...) Imagine hand gestures going "stop" but then "come on" because I could never get enough praise from the Highest Priestess Herself! 👑
He and I will get right on that (write-on that!). You're about to get a double-dose of Duo Scorpio Power Couple Insanity!!!! ♏️🦂♏️🦂
I cannot wait!!!
My guy outing my nickname! ;) Thanks, luv. What do you want for dinner? (JK, don't answer that)....
I was a giant fucking nerd in high school who lived vicariously through my sister. I bet she has fake ID stories for days.
This article and the comments are the absolute highlight of my day. Who didn’t want to be Tawny Kitaen? (Minus the romantic involvement with David Coverdale — I was obsessed with Ralph Macchio until I was 15 and discovered Johnny Depp).
Thank GOD you both came around to Johnny! I can also now make you jealous by telling you of my personal encounters with him. I had none with Kirk or Ralph.
Details immediately. (Please and thank you) 😉
Ha ha ha it wasn't just a one time encounter so it's gonna take me a minute, but you know I will give you the goods. And if I don't get to write it out here, I'll definitely spill everything about it in our next live chat. Love you for caring!
I love you for being you! Can’t wait 🥰
Thank you for caring!! Amazing.
SPILL IT, JANE! 🫖🍵
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I love that you got all my references! I, too, discovered Johnny Depp and left Kirk Cameron for him--lol. (which, truth be told, would solidify my taste in men for years to come.) 🤦🏻♀️
Kirk Cameron sure didn’t turn out the way we expected, did he? He was adorable, though!
Johnny Depp…well, he kinda did turn out as expected. (Yikes on bikes)
Yikes on bikes is so good. But I love Johnny through and through, so no yikes from my end.
Oh yes, not a problem with him per se…more his reputation and his career. He’s so ridiculously talented, though. I secretly hope he makes an amazing RDJ-style comeback.
Right?!?! My celeb crushes back then were first, Scott Baio and then Kirk. WTF, Me? It's okay. I then graduated to Joaquin Phoenix and, finally, my actual husband, who's just as swarthy without all the brooding.
Well… You started low, but nice trajectory at least. (PS I know Joaquin too, But still don't know Scott or Kirk.)
Who the fuck would WANT to know Scott & Kirk?! Blech! 🤢 And of course you know Joaquin. But you probably won't spill the beans on him, either. Please. I'm dying. I NEED TO KNOW.
I need to know if Joaquin is as cool as he seems to be.
I love that for you!!
What was in the water on those 80s sitcoms?!
Omg I MISS those days!!!! No social media, archers and lemonade, Malibu and Diet Coke x
Love!!
And I love that comment. All that needs to be said!
Fellow GenXer here. When I was in 6th grade (circa 1984) my friends started bringing booze into school, hiding it in their lockers. We’d take shots of at lunch, breaks, etc. We were only found out when one of the girls came to class (in 6th grade), fully drunk. So yeah, we really did start drinking in middle school.
Hot dayum, I love my fellow GenXers! We're MENOPUNKS in my book! Middle School Drinking was next level. Mad respect. Where did you grow up?
Northern Michigan, middle of nowhere.
I put on a Czechoslovakian accent when I was 17. Not to buy booze, because I had so many connections that Fake IDs and trying to purchase with one was for amateurs. I did it just to fool people. I did really well with it, too, until I ran into someone who actually spoke Czech. Game over.
Young GenX here! My graduation year was the peak of all stats on high school smoking. What else are you gonna do when you drink?? I never tried to buy underage, was told I looked like I was in middle school until I was almost 30 and didn’t doubt it. My friends were mostly boys, I learned the best vices fronting a rock band at 16. After school, I was a drunken fairy running thru the white pine forests having stick wars with the boys and drinking handles of hard booze either straight or mixed with 10c frozen lime aid. Polishing off a bottle of sambuca with another high school kid over a game of chutes and ladders on a school night. I started high school as a straightedge honors student and graduated a pregnant hippie 🤭I don’t regret it at all because I’m happy with those memories. GOD I lived. Those boys are my brothers to this day. No more drinking for me, however!!