Fat Guy Fashion: Gala Edition

Dressing up for a formal event can be a soul-crushing ordeal on one’s confidence

Working this hard to dress up and still getting upstaged by my wife is just a wee bit annoying.

Last week I did something I never thought I would do — I attended a gala. 

OK, technically it was a gala afterparty, but that wasn’t going to stop me from peacocking and feeling like a big shot. When my wife (Kim) informed me that she had a plus one for the gala being thrown by her public radio employer, I was struck by two competing emotions immediately — excitement and terror. 

The excitement is easy to explain, but if you’ve read any of my work here at AJPT you already know I’m not going to let a good time get in the way of my neuroses, so of course I was scared about the event for the entire month leading to it.

You see, I’m not what you would call “gala material.” I have a philanthropist’s heart but the bank account of a college student, and you won’t raise a lot of funds catering to the $20-a-plate crowd so the invites don’t usually find their way to me.