Yes! That too! For me, every day is Perimenopause Awareness Day, whether I want it to be or not. I haven’t decided if it’s a blessing or a curse to be going though this during the golden age of peri talk.
I 100% get this Charlie. As a fellow fat kid who grew up to be a fat guy, buying clothes has always been an exercise in misery. I think one of the reasons why I never bothered to learn anything about fashion or dressing well is because all the goddamned good clothes are made for men with chiseled bodies and perfect hair. So dressing like that would simply emphasize just how badly I look in them.
Now: How the hell did you lose 120 pounds in a year?! I’ve been going to the gym for years and stopped eating junk food for almost as long, and at best I’ve only managed to lose 25 in all that time. It’s seriously demoralizing.
Thanks for being open about this and for asking, Andy. I look forward to Charlie's response because I witnessed the shrinking happen, but other than a few exercise related injuries I was aware of along the way, he did it very quietly and without fanfare. (I don't know if Kim would disagree with that.) But it's been remarkable to witness.
First of all...COYS! I love your posts b/c I have a husband that refuses to buy clothes. He feels bad that he is no longer the soccer/football playing guy and he thinks he it's a waste of money to buy new clothes if he is going to be able to someday fit into his old clothes. Anyway, I do buy clothes for him and your insights help. Thank you.
Wow. I honestly had no idea the size discrepancies affected men as well! There’s so much about this out there related to women’s sizing standards… or lack thereof… but not a lot about the same with men!
Great piece, Charlie! I’m also fat and am intentionally losing weight. I’ve also been a fat activist for most of my adult life, and boy, is this a loaded minefield.
At my biggest I was about to size out of most mainstream plus size brands. I know every trick for covering what I want covered, and failing. I was participating in a poetry reading a few months ago. When it was too late to change clothes I realized the black dress I was wearing was hitching up in the front when I moved or raised my arms. My reading involved a lot of gesturing and I was convinced my apron belly was about to be on full display. All this is to say that I will forever obsessively tug on the neckline of every dress and shirt for the rest of my life.
An unpopular opinion: fat women have it better than fat men when it comes to clothes. My partner is also fat and refuses to shop. Once a year, usually for his birthday or Xmas, I buy him new clothes. The choices are grim. The waistband issues are real! I can get away with high-waisted bottoms (I don’t wear pants), or dresses (I always wear dresses). Lots more options.
Confession: I think that peek of tummy on bigger guys is hot. It’s a glimpse of the forbidden, and there’s a vulnerability to it that I like.
And finally, Jane! I’m pro penis encounter stories, so spill!
I completely agree that fat women have it better than fat men in so many ways now. As I've said, exposure and hope for change in that area is what made me so so excited about doing this fat guy fashion column with Charlie from our AJPT inception. Let's change things for your partner and other guys!
OK, penis story goes like this:
I was interviewing Conor for Jane Radio in my studio at SiriusXM. I knew nothing about him, but I generally had fun interviewing just anybody and getting down to the basics of who we both are. Well, who he was was someone who decided to stand up during the interview and pull down the front of his pants to show me tattoos that included showing his penis. I won't go into further details because you really may not want that, but the pubic hair was groomed and red.
I sent the article to my partner and he was excited to see an actual conversation happening about this. I don’t predict he’ll be getting all snazzy—he works from home and has full embraced the Adam Sandler look. But if this helps him step up while being comfortable for the occasional special event (got a college graduation in ‘27), I’ll count it as a win.
I’m not adverse to details, especially tattoo details! But I’ve been known to literally show my ass in public for people who want to see the world’s dumbest tramp stamp. I get it.
Jane, I want to hear your unpopular opinion on Perimenopause Awareness Month!
Yes! That too! For me, every day is Perimenopause Awareness Day, whether I want it to be or not. I haven’t decided if it’s a blessing or a curse to be going though this during the golden age of peri talk.
💯
I 100% get this Charlie. As a fellow fat kid who grew up to be a fat guy, buying clothes has always been an exercise in misery. I think one of the reasons why I never bothered to learn anything about fashion or dressing well is because all the goddamned good clothes are made for men with chiseled bodies and perfect hair. So dressing like that would simply emphasize just how badly I look in them.
Now: How the hell did you lose 120 pounds in a year?! I’ve been going to the gym for years and stopped eating junk food for almost as long, and at best I’ve only managed to lose 25 in all that time. It’s seriously demoralizing.
Thanks for being open about this and for asking, Andy. I look forward to Charlie's response because I witnessed the shrinking happen, but other than a few exercise related injuries I was aware of along the way, he did it very quietly and without fanfare. (I don't know if Kim would disagree with that.) But it's been remarkable to witness.
First of all...COYS! I love your posts b/c I have a husband that refuses to buy clothes. He feels bad that he is no longer the soccer/football playing guy and he thinks he it's a waste of money to buy new clothes if he is going to be able to someday fit into his old clothes. Anyway, I do buy clothes for him and your insights help. Thank you.
Wow. I honestly had no idea the size discrepancies affected men as well! There’s so much about this out there related to women’s sizing standards… or lack thereof… but not a lot about the same with men!
Exactly! And that's part of why I think all of Charlie's AJPT writing on this topic is so revolutionary.
Great piece, Charlie! I’m also fat and am intentionally losing weight. I’ve also been a fat activist for most of my adult life, and boy, is this a loaded minefield.
At my biggest I was about to size out of most mainstream plus size brands. I know every trick for covering what I want covered, and failing. I was participating in a poetry reading a few months ago. When it was too late to change clothes I realized the black dress I was wearing was hitching up in the front when I moved or raised my arms. My reading involved a lot of gesturing and I was convinced my apron belly was about to be on full display. All this is to say that I will forever obsessively tug on the neckline of every dress and shirt for the rest of my life.
An unpopular opinion: fat women have it better than fat men when it comes to clothes. My partner is also fat and refuses to shop. Once a year, usually for his birthday or Xmas, I buy him new clothes. The choices are grim. The waistband issues are real! I can get away with high-waisted bottoms (I don’t wear pants), or dresses (I always wear dresses). Lots more options.
Confession: I think that peek of tummy on bigger guys is hot. It’s a glimpse of the forbidden, and there’s a vulnerability to it that I like.
And finally, Jane! I’m pro penis encounter stories, so spill!
I completely agree that fat women have it better than fat men in so many ways now. As I've said, exposure and hope for change in that area is what made me so so excited about doing this fat guy fashion column with Charlie from our AJPT inception. Let's change things for your partner and other guys!
OK, penis story goes like this:
I was interviewing Conor for Jane Radio in my studio at SiriusXM. I knew nothing about him, but I generally had fun interviewing just anybody and getting down to the basics of who we both are. Well, who he was was someone who decided to stand up during the interview and pull down the front of his pants to show me tattoos that included showing his penis. I won't go into further details because you really may not want that, but the pubic hair was groomed and red.
Ta da and thank you for asking!
I sent the article to my partner and he was excited to see an actual conversation happening about this. I don’t predict he’ll be getting all snazzy—he works from home and has full embraced the Adam Sandler look. But if this helps him step up while being comfortable for the occasional special event (got a college graduation in ‘27), I’ll count it as a win.
I’m not adverse to details, especially tattoo details! But I’ve been known to literally show my ass in public for people who want to see the world’s dumbest tramp stamp. I get it.
Haha. I'm happy about anything this does to get your partner comfortable at that graduation.
And I don't remember the tattoos at all!