Judith, I know you are a little tied up this afternoon but whenever you get to reread your beautifully told piece here, I want to say again how much you telling it means to me and I'm sure so many others.
The detail about your cousin changing her email and phone number and never being in contact with you again breaks my heart for you. I'm so so sorry that that happened and that your family chose to react the way they did. You deserve much much more.
Something else I would love to hear input on from this incredible group of commenters (and Judith, of course) is the fact that the cousin who decided not to tell about her own abuse is a therapist specializing in abuse....
That’s why the two cannot exist. If she admits what has happened, the cousin also has to admit her whole life is built on everything she supposedly stands against. People become defensive or at best passive aggressive when their hypocrisy is pointed out.
But the answer is to “why” is always - because they can. Some people have the ability to close their minds and hearts and turn off the lights and poof it’s gone. Never happened. Like actually watch and listen concerning the Epstein files as it Morphs into an entirely different animal that has nothing to do with what it was.
People are so confused as to HOW people could do this.
And I think it’s always-because they can.
A normal person would be in the floor vomiting and enraged. That’s how deep self-deception goes. Deep AF.
I've seen that too in my family, people literally forget things they have said - they forget because they can't tolerate the suffering. I also suspect this therapist probably thinks she is suited to treat abuse because in her mind, she has survived it. Unfortunately, she doesn't realize just how ill-suited she is to be in that role until she can face it herself.
Undoubtedly the therapist thinks she has dealt with it admirably, and everyone should be able to do so as well as her (by jamming it into the subconscious). I have to wonder if there isn’t just a bit of contempt with how she treats her patients that aren’t able to get past it as quick.
Hopefully they see that as the red flag that it is, but even worse is the reality that she is basically facilitating self-gaslighting and burying trauma.
Not surprising though. People have choices as to whether they're going to do something difficult that will change the course of their lives, or do something easy that will change the course of their lives. Most choose easy.
I also get the impulse to keep trying to contact family members who want nothing to do with you. It's this maddening cycle of "ok, I'm done, I won't bother with this ever again because it's too painful," followed by "well... I haven't tried this thing yet, so maybe that will work." I'm currently in between cycles.😅
Thank you for this. It will stick with me for a while.
thank you. btw, these two people are 100% of my first cousins, always have been, and there is sparse other family, and no one geographically close. also no one's getting younger.
I’ve seen this same perplexing scenario played out repeatedly in my life. I was molested by my childhood therapist from age 13-16, and everyone told me to shut up about me, none more so than the hospital he worked for. They said I had no case, but I could describe his genitalia in quite specific detail, so I was called, of course, a whore.
At 16 I was raped by my brothers fraternity brother. No lawyer would take that case, as it was so close to ‘The Accused’ those were the excuses the lawyer gave me. Think about what I’d be doing to my FAMILY. Don’t be selfish! Keeping in mind the man was 24, and that’s clear it statutory. There was never a doubt it happened. The fight was always about just how much force was used. This cost my virginity, and my ability to ever carry a child in the same night from later medical complications from the amount of damage. The main problem was this man’s girlfriend (now wife) was best friends with my brothers girlfriend (now wife) and the idea put forth was she was the victim
Her boyfriend had cheated on her, Afterall.
So many stories like these, but you just have to be out there with them. People say their stupid insults and hush talk because they don’t want to admit to themselves something happened to YOU. It’s far easier to shake the etch-a-sketch and make it all disappear.
Don’t you let them make you disappear.
I’ve been estranged from my brother and his wife for the majority of the past 30+ years because if they won’t stand with me, they don’t get to stand near me. I have no problem bringing this up at family gatherings, making things awkward, because I am not ashamed. They are.
Don’t ever feel responsible, guilty, a burden. Hold your head high, your mouth open. Send them a copy of this article. Keep talking. Hopefully soon after you can live in peace and stop battling the ghosts of demons in your sleep. You deserve to dream sweet dreams now.
This is the most incredible response and I appreciate your bravery in telling your own stories too. (Funnily enough, your name stands out to me because I remember the sweet note you sent when you subscribed, and I was going to make a joke back about asking if you were related to Henry Mancini, but decided against it! So I'm happy to talk to you this way now on this more important topic.)
It is horrific what happened to you and way way way too common. As more women open up about it, the question after being told that they were raped increasingly becomes, "How many times?"
I love what you said about not letting ourselves be erased. I cheer you on in taking that stance with your brother and everything else you continue to do to not be further victimized. It all makes me really really angry, but I really thank you for sharing it here and letting Judith and others hear your strength and encouragement and resolve also.
If you're interested in writing anything yourself for publication here, just email me jane@ anotherjaneprattthing.com
That would be dreamy to write for Jane! I spoke to you before on Threads about the importance of your magazine to my youth, and these were the times I spoke of-Sassy was my escape! I could definitely write in more detail, or we had discussed that I do have a wee Medical Memoir I’m horrified to be starting a press tour for (et tu, anxiety?) so because I’m lazy the idea of using an excerpt comes to mind - more so because I’d have no idea what to toss an arrow at to expound on, and I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on it! I mean the shitshow portion of my life has the therapist abuse, terminal cancer - and having learned to stand up for myself - which is oddly why I am not dead. Though my doctor did try to starve me to death, I got to 60 pounds.. but that just sounds like bragging at this point 😂. Anyway, to this day when anyone calls me a bitch - because a lot of people do because I’m a small woman with big opinions that doesn’t intimidate- I correct them and say I AM SASSY.
If you’ve understood any of this, feel free to let me know what I said, and what you think.
First of all, sorry I didn't put it together that you're the same person I talked to on threads, but at least I have unwavering good taste because I wanted your stories both times!
I think we could definitely do some kind of excerpt. Whenever you're up for it, no pressure on the timing, could you send me the manuscript or tell me the easiest way for you that I get it to read?
I’m a keen observer of people. I see you a bit over your head, but I also believe not only is that how you usually operate, but suspect it might be best how you operate. I might be wrong! Either way, no offense taken! And no, no relation to Henry Mancini. Because I love a weird obscure curveball, I will instead say that Richard Grieco is my cousin. Take that as you will, but it’s best taken from a 21 Jump Street angle, more than a Night at the Roxbury angle!
I suppose all I need is an address to send the PDF of the manuscript.
Ah, almost forgot! Book is called - The Dead Girl’s Guide To Terminal Cancer:A True Tale of Anxiety, Horror, & Hope.
And it’s crazy, and terrible and hopefully funny in the right places the way memoirs often are.
That's a wonderful title, for starters. Who would not want to read that? There is so much more I could say about your assessment of me, which is super interesting, but we can come back to that. You can send the pdf to jane@anotherjaneprattthing.com whenever you are up to it. XOX.
I’ll point out that I actually got the title wrong. It’s The Dead Girl’s Guide To Terminal Cancer etc. no lung. And this is why I should not post things after 9pm EVER 😂
Sorry to add my 2 cents here re: what to toss an arrow at, but I suspect that you would be brilliant at a piece on how some therapists do more harm than good.
You are the best, Jane! Never ever be sorry for throwing in an assignment idea here. AJPT is a joint project and so much better for it! I really like this concept
and would keep it either anecdotal or possibly go in the direction of an opinion piece with anecdotal back up. Thank you both beyond beyond for being here and being so generous with your wisdom and ideas!
No worries! That’s funny, because in my book I talk about 3 therapists I had that definitely and decidedly made things worse in a real way, and after having a dozen or so how I quit at 39 because I was tired of them trying to fix what I believe isn’t broken. I have severe anxiety, and rather than treat it as loathsome, I’ve learned to love it. It absolutely saved my life from cancer in a way a comment can’t describe, but it’s something that has been a part of me so long (first signs at 5… so… 47 years) that trying to get rid of it always felt more like a lobotomy than progress. I realize that may sound odd, but I had 2 therapists that couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me (viva la 1980’s juvenile therapy) so that simply said I was ‘bad.’ She is … bad. And this was what led to the molestation which was part of the being tied to chairs therapy, which was part of the stop being claustrophobic immersion therapy which branched off ‘you are a child and you do as you are told’ stuff. Really messy 3 years there that I can laugh about now in a self-preservation way, because I’ll be damned if I let that man ruin my life. Which I’ve told him. Once loudly and publicly because… it’s not my shame.
That’s pretty much what I can offer, is that I squeezed these life lemons for any good in them. Those 3 years I went from being painfully shy, timid, terrified of speaking - to strong, confident and LOUD. I would never dream of not standing up for myself, and at the same time I see just how many times that has pissed off some other authoritarian males in my life.
Because what’s coming to the surface in the world right now is the caustic disregard for women that most GenX women would have been called crazy for saying has been their our entire lives. 1950-style thinking never truly went away for so much of the population. And if you’re in afraid, stand up for yourself, you’re a threat.
Point is, I’m pretty glad I never learned a thing in therapy other than what was wrong with the therapists 😂 (again, these were early times when my male therapists refused to discuss rape, much less a fellow doctor that had, ahem, misbehaved.)
It’s definitely a ride of a book! I wrote it, my husband - to be met in the book - edited it, and there she is. Ironically I self-published because the publishers that did want the book wanted the backstory about the therapist and rape left out as they - although they could see likely explaining how my anxiety became so bad - ‘ugly’ stories that readers don’t like.
They also wanted to take out te parts where I prove my doctor was trying to end my life (done using my legal medical file). Gotta love a big ol’ let’s wipe your life CLEAN guide to publishing. So now it’s not as streamlined, but at least it’s mine! Which I think is important in a memoir..
It’s also being filmed into a documentary this winter, but I’m still living in denial about that or I’ll get existential dread.
Thank you for sharing this, and I am quoting your words here about two of your family members: " If they won’t stand with me, they don’t get to stand near me."
Feel free to use it for yourself. That means no longer is your cousin or mother or anyone rejecting you and your experience and your distress-you have the power to dismiss them for their weakness, disloyalty, and overall disrespect to a loved one. You push THEM away, because you are worth more.
Everyone was worth more. Because they seemed to have created a coven to allow this man to what.. do as he pleases at the expense of whatever human he desires? That’s not ok. It’s not ok at all. With family it must be so very difficult.
My parents pretend it never happened, but we still fight about their complacency in it. Saying we are not going to side with one child over another when it’s a rape isn’t ok. Being unable to say rape isn’t ok.
But I learned for my health, I had to stop caring if others weren’t comfortable. Our instinct as women is to smooth, to make no waves, to keep the peace. On my 30’s, I said fuck that, and have been far happier for it.
I wish such good things for you. Keep writing. Keep writing all your truths.
Thanks for being so responsive and standing up for what works and doesn't for you. I can feel enraged for you and others but in my own situations, moving on seems to help me the most.
Worse than the attempted rape is I the estrangement by your cousins.. the pain of reality has rendered them mute and shut on down.. and you are the collateral damage .. thanks for your honesty and keep healing…
Oh, I feel pretty stupid about this at the moment, because this is such a serious piece today, and I should've asked earlier when one of the lighter ones had been posted...
But, there's a decent chance that I'll be reading one of my pieces publicly tomorrow night. I'm leaning towards the swimming pool story because I want to do a funny one, but I don't know if a room full of strangers will laugh or be horrified!😅 What do you think? Should I go with that one or a different one?
Not Big Daddy, but you know I can’t keep my mouth shut. The swimming pool story is sooooo hilarious, Andy. You were a child! I truly don’t think anyone will be horrified. ❤️
I'm just seeing this now, but I am totally with Dana! You must read the swimming pool one! People will be rolling in the aisles. And then tell us about it after please
Judith, I'm sitting here, shaking my head in disbelief over your mom's response. How could she not want to see the man who raped her daughter get outed and prosecuted for his crime...and how could she allow her niece to remain married to a rapist, without her knowledge? This must have felt like a second assault, at her hands, and I am so very sorry. 💔
I both see my mom as you do...and see her as a person who endured her own hardships, and although she made a career of pediatric social work, couldn't or wasn't more of a mom. But she was way more present than my father, so I do feel gratitude for good things about my mom.
What a devastating story. I’m so sorry you experienced this, Judith. I’m continually amazed at the lengths people go to for the sake of keeping the “peace,” and who they’re willing to throw under the bus to do so. I experienced things in childhood from family members that I don’t talk about to family, because I can’t predict anything but grief and disappointment. And to protect who? Horrible people. I will never understand that.
Judith, I know you are a little tied up this afternoon but whenever you get to reread your beautifully told piece here, I want to say again how much you telling it means to me and I'm sure so many others.
The detail about your cousin changing her email and phone number and never being in contact with you again breaks my heart for you. I'm so so sorry that that happened and that your family chose to react the way they did. You deserve much much more.
I'm so happy you're here and hope you're feeling good. Xox
I just spent a day in Neuro, and am grateful to be back with you. Thank you. All my best to you and every reader.
Something else I would love to hear input on from this incredible group of commenters (and Judith, of course) is the fact that the cousin who decided not to tell about her own abuse is a therapist specializing in abuse....
That’s why the two cannot exist. If she admits what has happened, the cousin also has to admit her whole life is built on everything she supposedly stands against. People become defensive or at best passive aggressive when their hypocrisy is pointed out.
But the answer is to “why” is always - because they can. Some people have the ability to close their minds and hearts and turn off the lights and poof it’s gone. Never happened. Like actually watch and listen concerning the Epstein files as it Morphs into an entirely different animal that has nothing to do with what it was.
People are so confused as to HOW people could do this.
And I think it’s always-because they can.
A normal person would be in the floor vomiting and enraged. That’s how deep self-deception goes. Deep AF.
I've seen that too in my family, people literally forget things they have said - they forget because they can't tolerate the suffering. I also suspect this therapist probably thinks she is suited to treat abuse because in her mind, she has survived it. Unfortunately, she doesn't realize just how ill-suited she is to be in that role until she can face it herself.
Undoubtedly the therapist thinks she has dealt with it admirably, and everyone should be able to do so as well as her (by jamming it into the subconscious). I have to wonder if there isn’t just a bit of contempt with how she treats her patients that aren’t able to get past it as quick.
Hopefully they see that as the red flag that it is, but even worse is the reality that she is basically facilitating self-gaslighting and burying trauma.
Thank you for your comment.
I am also incredibly enraged at the cousin as well. I get it but at the same time...
Thank you for your comment. Although in my experience, rage is not the answer. Or is not the answer for me.
Thank you for your comment. With respect, I don't feel able to say more.
Also Judith: I hope to grow up one day and have one iota of the decorum that you possess
Understood.
For more and more of Judith's incredible writing, check this out too:
https://substack.com/@judithhannahweiss1?r=2j483d&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile
Brutal.
Not surprising though. People have choices as to whether they're going to do something difficult that will change the course of their lives, or do something easy that will change the course of their lives. Most choose easy.
I also get the impulse to keep trying to contact family members who want nothing to do with you. It's this maddening cycle of "ok, I'm done, I won't bother with this ever again because it's too painful," followed by "well... I haven't tried this thing yet, so maybe that will work." I'm currently in between cycles.😅
Thank you for this. It will stick with me for a while.
thank you. btw, these two people are 100% of my first cousins, always have been, and there is sparse other family, and no one geographically close. also no one's getting younger.
I’ve seen this same perplexing scenario played out repeatedly in my life. I was molested by my childhood therapist from age 13-16, and everyone told me to shut up about me, none more so than the hospital he worked for. They said I had no case, but I could describe his genitalia in quite specific detail, so I was called, of course, a whore.
At 16 I was raped by my brothers fraternity brother. No lawyer would take that case, as it was so close to ‘The Accused’ those were the excuses the lawyer gave me. Think about what I’d be doing to my FAMILY. Don’t be selfish! Keeping in mind the man was 24, and that’s clear it statutory. There was never a doubt it happened. The fight was always about just how much force was used. This cost my virginity, and my ability to ever carry a child in the same night from later medical complications from the amount of damage. The main problem was this man’s girlfriend (now wife) was best friends with my brothers girlfriend (now wife) and the idea put forth was she was the victim
Her boyfriend had cheated on her, Afterall.
So many stories like these, but you just have to be out there with them. People say their stupid insults and hush talk because they don’t want to admit to themselves something happened to YOU. It’s far easier to shake the etch-a-sketch and make it all disappear.
Don’t you let them make you disappear.
I’ve been estranged from my brother and his wife for the majority of the past 30+ years because if they won’t stand with me, they don’t get to stand near me. I have no problem bringing this up at family gatherings, making things awkward, because I am not ashamed. They are.
Don’t ever feel responsible, guilty, a burden. Hold your head high, your mouth open. Send them a copy of this article. Keep talking. Hopefully soon after you can live in peace and stop battling the ghosts of demons in your sleep. You deserve to dream sweet dreams now.
This is the most incredible response and I appreciate your bravery in telling your own stories too. (Funnily enough, your name stands out to me because I remember the sweet note you sent when you subscribed, and I was going to make a joke back about asking if you were related to Henry Mancini, but decided against it! So I'm happy to talk to you this way now on this more important topic.)
It is horrific what happened to you and way way way too common. As more women open up about it, the question after being told that they were raped increasingly becomes, "How many times?"
I love what you said about not letting ourselves be erased. I cheer you on in taking that stance with your brother and everything else you continue to do to not be further victimized. It all makes me really really angry, but I really thank you for sharing it here and letting Judith and others hear your strength and encouragement and resolve also.
If you're interested in writing anything yourself for publication here, just email me jane@ anotherjaneprattthing.com
That would be dreamy to write for Jane! I spoke to you before on Threads about the importance of your magazine to my youth, and these were the times I spoke of-Sassy was my escape! I could definitely write in more detail, or we had discussed that I do have a wee Medical Memoir I’m horrified to be starting a press tour for (et tu, anxiety?) so because I’m lazy the idea of using an excerpt comes to mind - more so because I’d have no idea what to toss an arrow at to expound on, and I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on it! I mean the shitshow portion of my life has the therapist abuse, terminal cancer - and having learned to stand up for myself - which is oddly why I am not dead. Though my doctor did try to starve me to death, I got to 60 pounds.. but that just sounds like bragging at this point 😂. Anyway, to this day when anyone calls me a bitch - because a lot of people do because I’m a small woman with big opinions that doesn’t intimidate- I correct them and say I AM SASSY.
If you’ve understood any of this, feel free to let me know what I said, and what you think.
First of all, sorry I didn't put it together that you're the same person I talked to on threads, but at least I have unwavering good taste because I wanted your stories both times!
I think we could definitely do some kind of excerpt. Whenever you're up for it, no pressure on the timing, could you send me the manuscript or tell me the easiest way for you that I get it to read?
I’m a keen observer of people. I see you a bit over your head, but I also believe not only is that how you usually operate, but suspect it might be best how you operate. I might be wrong! Either way, no offense taken! And no, no relation to Henry Mancini. Because I love a weird obscure curveball, I will instead say that Richard Grieco is my cousin. Take that as you will, but it’s best taken from a 21 Jump Street angle, more than a Night at the Roxbury angle!
I suppose all I need is an address to send the PDF of the manuscript.
Ah, almost forgot! Book is called - The Dead Girl’s Guide To Terminal Cancer:A True Tale of Anxiety, Horror, & Hope.
And it’s crazy, and terrible and hopefully funny in the right places the way memoirs often are.
That's a wonderful title, for starters. Who would not want to read that? There is so much more I could say about your assessment of me, which is super interesting, but we can come back to that. You can send the pdf to jane@anotherjaneprattthing.com whenever you are up to it. XOX.
I’ll point out that I actually got the title wrong. It’s The Dead Girl’s Guide To Terminal Cancer etc. no lung. And this is why I should not post things after 9pm EVER 😂
Sorry to add my 2 cents here re: what to toss an arrow at, but I suspect that you would be brilliant at a piece on how some therapists do more harm than good.
You are the best, Jane! Never ever be sorry for throwing in an assignment idea here. AJPT is a joint project and so much better for it! I really like this concept
and would keep it either anecdotal or possibly go in the direction of an opinion piece with anecdotal back up. Thank you both beyond beyond for being here and being so generous with your wisdom and ideas!
No worries! That’s funny, because in my book I talk about 3 therapists I had that definitely and decidedly made things worse in a real way, and after having a dozen or so how I quit at 39 because I was tired of them trying to fix what I believe isn’t broken. I have severe anxiety, and rather than treat it as loathsome, I’ve learned to love it. It absolutely saved my life from cancer in a way a comment can’t describe, but it’s something that has been a part of me so long (first signs at 5… so… 47 years) that trying to get rid of it always felt more like a lobotomy than progress. I realize that may sound odd, but I had 2 therapists that couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me (viva la 1980’s juvenile therapy) so that simply said I was ‘bad.’ She is … bad. And this was what led to the molestation which was part of the being tied to chairs therapy, which was part of the stop being claustrophobic immersion therapy which branched off ‘you are a child and you do as you are told’ stuff. Really messy 3 years there that I can laugh about now in a self-preservation way, because I’ll be damned if I let that man ruin my life. Which I’ve told him. Once loudly and publicly because… it’s not my shame.
That’s pretty much what I can offer, is that I squeezed these life lemons for any good in them. Those 3 years I went from being painfully shy, timid, terrified of speaking - to strong, confident and LOUD. I would never dream of not standing up for myself, and at the same time I see just how many times that has pissed off some other authoritarian males in my life.
Because what’s coming to the surface in the world right now is the caustic disregard for women that most GenX women would have been called crazy for saying has been their our entire lives. 1950-style thinking never truly went away for so much of the population. And if you’re in afraid, stand up for yourself, you’re a threat.
Point is, I’m pretty glad I never learned a thing in therapy other than what was wrong with the therapists 😂 (again, these were early times when my male therapists refused to discuss rape, much less a fellow doctor that had, ahem, misbehaved.)
❤️! You are awesome, and now I need to check out your book!
It’s definitely a ride of a book! I wrote it, my husband - to be met in the book - edited it, and there she is. Ironically I self-published because the publishers that did want the book wanted the backstory about the therapist and rape left out as they - although they could see likely explaining how my anxiety became so bad - ‘ugly’ stories that readers don’t like.
They also wanted to take out te parts where I prove my doctor was trying to end my life (done using my legal medical file). Gotta love a big ol’ let’s wipe your life CLEAN guide to publishing. So now it’s not as streamlined, but at least it’s mine! Which I think is important in a memoir..
It’s also being filmed into a documentary this winter, but I’m still living in denial about that or I’ll get existential dread.
Thank you for sharing this, and I am quoting your words here about two of your family members: " If they won’t stand with me, they don’t get to stand near me."
Feel free to use it for yourself. That means no longer is your cousin or mother or anyone rejecting you and your experience and your distress-you have the power to dismiss them for their weakness, disloyalty, and overall disrespect to a loved one. You push THEM away, because you are worth more.
Everyone was worth more. Because they seemed to have created a coven to allow this man to what.. do as he pleases at the expense of whatever human he desires? That’s not ok. It’s not ok at all. With family it must be so very difficult.
My parents pretend it never happened, but we still fight about their complacency in it. Saying we are not going to side with one child over another when it’s a rape isn’t ok. Being unable to say rape isn’t ok.
But I learned for my health, I had to stop caring if others weren’t comfortable. Our instinct as women is to smooth, to make no waves, to keep the peace. On my 30’s, I said fuck that, and have been far happier for it.
I wish such good things for you. Keep writing. Keep writing all your truths.
Powerful and beautiful and thank you! We all need to hear this.
Gina, I'm sending you and Judith all of the supportive hugs I can. This is so shocking and infuriating. 🫂🫂
I am so very enraged for you and so very very sorry that it happened. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for being supportive. I sincerely appreciate that.
Thank you for your comment, but again rage is not the answer for me.
Thanks for being so responsive and standing up for what works and doesn't for you. I can feel enraged for you and others but in my own situations, moving on seems to help me the most.
I just write and make art. And breathe deeply some of the time.
That’s a beautiful response and inspires me to remember and act on that in tough times. Making art is always the answer.
Thank you for trusting us with this. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 💔
I love the way you put that. She is trusting us with this, and I'm so happy you acknowledged it.
I agree with Jane.
thank you. it was a very hard piece to write.
Worse than the attempted rape is I the estrangement by your cousins.. the pain of reality has rendered them mute and shut on down.. and you are the collateral damage .. thanks for your honesty and keep healing…
Thank you for your comment.
@Big Daddy,
Oh, I feel pretty stupid about this at the moment, because this is such a serious piece today, and I should've asked earlier when one of the lighter ones had been posted...
But, there's a decent chance that I'll be reading one of my pieces publicly tomorrow night. I'm leaning towards the swimming pool story because I want to do a funny one, but I don't know if a room full of strangers will laugh or be horrified!😅 What do you think? Should I go with that one or a different one?
Big daddy here reiterating what I replied to Dana: swimming pool! Please!
Not Big Daddy, but you know I can’t keep my mouth shut. The swimming pool story is sooooo hilarious, Andy. You were a child! I truly don’t think anyone will be horrified. ❤️
I'm just seeing this now, but I am totally with Dana! You must read the swimming pool one! People will be rolling in the aisles. And then tell us about it after please
OK, got it. There's a chance I might not get to do it, but if I do, then I'll definitely let you know how it went.😉
Please, please! Now I'm getting greedy and wanting a recording of it. If anyone films any of it, please share it with me!
Love,
BD
Me too, me too!!
Love, Peanut gallery
Haha Andy is a good sport, so let's keep the pressure on....
I'm unable to communicate with the people involved. They have made sure that I'm unable to do so. But I do thank you for your note.
Judith, I'm sitting here, shaking my head in disbelief over your mom's response. How could she not want to see the man who raped her daughter get outed and prosecuted for his crime...and how could she allow her niece to remain married to a rapist, without her knowledge? This must have felt like a second assault, at her hands, and I am so very sorry. 💔
I both see my mom as you do...and see her as a person who endured her own hardships, and although she made a career of pediatric social work, couldn't or wasn't more of a mom. But she was way more present than my father, so I do feel gratitude for good things about my mom.
What a devastating story. I’m so sorry you experienced this, Judith. I’m continually amazed at the lengths people go to for the sake of keeping the “peace,” and who they’re willing to throw under the bus to do so. I experienced things in childhood from family members that I don’t talk about to family, because I can’t predict anything but grief and disappointment. And to protect who? Horrible people. I will never understand that.
Thank you for your comment. I am sorry for your pain
I just know what works for me.
And attitude of gratitude.
Xox
I recommend deep breathing.