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Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

I don't know... I kind of feel like I would have left after finding out that two crazy exes are friends with each other and stalking him. But it's kind of cool that you can roll with it! I am not known to be chill about much so I always like to hear stories from people who see and do things differently than I do!

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Fascinating!I kept thinking about what I would have done too, and I'm going come back here and write it shortly...

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Jane Pratt's avatar

OK, I think it would be near impossible for me to believe that he wasn't somehow part of this or at least not resent him for allowing it. (Understand that in my past I was in a serious relationship with a guy who claimed he was still just staying with his ex for rent reasons – meanwhile she got pregnant by him. So that's my point of reference.) But I sure like that this story is bringing up opinions

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

It shines a spotlight on how far one can go to preserve the love initially glimpsed, and makes me question what the line is between forgiveness and enabling.

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

It was definitely shocking! I think because I am an ardent observer of the human condition and do a lot of difficult inner work, I was capable of taking the high road and seeing ways we could help break the pattern instead of just abandoning the situation. He is so transparent that it heightened my empathy.

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Sal's avatar

Transparent? Your funny! Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story, right?

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Leslie Ward's avatar

"You're"

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Thanks, Leslie!

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Suz's avatar

IHTM: I Was So Consumed With My Ex's "Crazy" Ex That I Didn't Notice He Was A Toxic Conflict-Avoidant Baby With An Inability To Establish Healthy Boundaries

there fixed the headline for you

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Haha I love you for not holding back. And love Sarah for not being defensive.

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Not entirely wrong! Part of the messiness of love when we’re not given proper examples of what it looks like growing up. We’ve chosen to grow and heal through this together. Through the eyes of love, there’s a beautiful angel sleeping within. Brutal honesty with self is essential too!

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Suz's avatar

Sarah you’re an absolute badass for taking my comment in stride. I hope you know that I am ride or die for the sisterhood and am not criticizing you at all. Your boyfriend I’m being merciless toward, but hopefully he knows that whatever people say behind his back is none of his business.

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Yes! Well said! I appreciate your perspective that’s all part of the growth here! Real love helps people heal their blind spots together if both parties are willing. What a rewarding experience! Happy Valentine’s Day 🥰

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Stephanie leonard's avatar

From a psychological point of view it’s a very interesting story :)

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Agreed!!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Thank you so much, Stephanie! There are some serious layers to explore here, that’s for sure 😸

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Renata Espinosa's avatar

I subscribed because I needed to know how this story ended… and it’s definitely left me wanting to know what happens next. Wow. Sarah, you’re a gifted storyteller. I’ve got knots in my stomach just thinking about the whole scenario you went through!

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Jane Pratt's avatar

I'm thrilled that you feel the same way aboutSarah's writing as I do! When I first read her submission, I did a little shout out to her in this intro because I was so so excited and couldn't wait to share her with you all. Thank you for subscribing and thank you,Sarah, for being so riveting. Love you both!

https://open.substack.com/pub/janepratt/p/the-bad-hair-day-that-cost-me-playing?r=2j483d&utm_medium=ios

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Turning lead into gold… I’m crafting part two LET’S GOOOO

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Donna Kang's avatar

I kept reading the beginning parts but now subscribed and this is going way beyond my expectations. Seriously, what the actual F***. I haven’t laughed out loud from prose for a long time. I keep veering from that to dark dread. This was an awful experience to go through. The phone must have felt like a loaded gun at one point. Those women, the sadness but then, Conan! Dying

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Hahaha RIGHT??? It’s all been so BIZARRO, had to share and tremendously grateful Jane has given me the space to do so. 🤗 stay tuned!

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Donna Kang's avatar

With bated breath

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Heather Marr's avatar

I think we need a Part 2! After the Conan text, that was it? No more creepy messages from fake grandmothers etc? Are you still with this guy?

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Jane Pratt's avatar

You're psychic because when Sarah originally sent this to me, it was in three much longer parts and we talked about serializing it and running a part two. You get me, Heather Marr!

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Heather Marr's avatar

Do it!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

I would LOVE to!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Yes, the story goes on involving a fabricated text exchange with a fictional ex of mine. Steady stunting on a smear campaign that is truly dark and wildly creative!

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Jane Pratt's avatar

I like that you give it credit for being wildly creative. You can thank them for making it a good story!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

GRIST FOR THE MILL! They didn’t know they were dealing with a woman who alchemizes trauma into nonfiction gold.

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Jane Pratt's avatar

OK, Sarah, it's an assignment. Get back to work!

Sincerely, email me your next installment whenever you can. The people have spoken!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Yes! Will do 💌

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Sal's avatar

Basically using another woman’s trauma to make money? How creative

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Sal's avatar

I am glad to see you enjoy hurting our youth. Please pick up Eric‘s bills and belongings. His creditors are calling me now since I stopped paying his phone. Also please return my jewelry. It’s all I have left of my mother.

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

The story writes itself in many ways! Still with him. No word from Conan yet.

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Sal's avatar

I’m confused Ricky called me Xmas and said you guys were done?

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Li_Bee's avatar

I was with you and Colonel Mustard at the Chocolate River on Xmas

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Write for me!!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

HahahaHow did I miss this???? WAY TOO GOOD

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Jane Pratt's avatar

I missed it too! That little gem was just slipped in there somehow, but so happy to see it now.

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Nicky Fournier's avatar

I’m on the edge of my seat in the bleachers of your life Sarah!!! Get those bags packed and keep us posted while you’re on the run! Can’t wait for part 2😱🫨🫢

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

No more fight or flight! Let's stick around, part two soon! <3

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Sal's avatar

Just posted your part 2 Sarah

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Nadine Tobin's avatar

There’s a saying that life is stranger than fiction and this is an excellent example of that. My heart goes out to you, Sarah take care of yourself. I’m just hoping this script evolves into a story where you are both stronger for it and those two women are able to Move on.

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Well said and thanks for saying it, Nadine

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Thank you, Dini ❣️you know when push comes to shove I’ll pack up a big blue suitcase and hit the dusty trail even if it’s from the middle of nowhere!

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Lesya Nak's avatar

Not fake Nana 😂

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Hahahha comment of the year! I'm thinking about what prize I can give you. What do you want?

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Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

😆😆😆😆

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Nana would never say that!!!

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Haha!

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Sal's avatar

Please know this is all false and my daughter can see it. If you want the truth I have it. And if this is an education platform please dig into the business her boyfriend is in. Because of this story it will all be public soon

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Feb 24
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Lesya Nak's avatar

You guys are just proving the point, you know that right?

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Feb 25Edited
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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

He gave thumbs up clearance to every single photo. You’re only helping to bring us closer together as a stronger team with this reaction.

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Rachel Corber's avatar

This story is amazing! This would make a great movie or tv series!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Thanks so much for reading Rachel and appreciate you seeing the series potential! Stick around for part three, can’t wait to see you there. ☺️

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Joan Sinclair's avatar

Wow -you are one brave soul and an exceptional writer!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Thank you, Joan! I guess when the stories deliver themselves it can inspire courage. I appreciate you reading, part two coming soon!

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Julie Atwood's avatar

Wow. After the self-harm and fake suicide stuff were there authorities you could call? Or some kind of harassment charges to pursue? I admire your ability to not blame your partner for these women's actions, BUT there's a difference between rising above and living with unacceptable behavior. Wouldn't a man stalking an ex like this have that kind of response? I'm not trying to be dramatic or condescending, I just can't imagine continuing to live like this. 💗

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Jane Pratt's avatar

Excellent point about how a man stalking an ex would get a different response. Interesting!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

So true! Cops were definitely recommended. There’s a part two… three… and four so stay tuned! ❤️‍🩹

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Julie Atwood's avatar

I definitely will.

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Sal's avatar

If this was true I believe cops would have been called despite the illegal business he runs

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Sal's avatar

I truly hope he is not conducting illegal business out of your home. That wouldn’t be good on your record

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Feb 23
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Sal's avatar

Wait your ex with herpes? Or your current? The drug dealer with IRS on his back? Yes if you insist on airing everyone’s dirty laundry on a public platform. Take care Sarah this is a very ugly way to achieve success.

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

“I’m in touch with Sarah’s ex” SCREENSHOTS.

WOW

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Sal's avatar

But Thankyou for acknowledging that this was about me and clear defamation of character

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Sal's avatar

I don’t have an ex with herpes, only 2 exes are father of my daughter and your current boyfriend. If you have questions please feel free to reach out in a place where kids can be traumatized. My life is open book and I have nothing to hide. You do not know me, but if you would like an interesting story, I’ve had an incredible life and I’d be happy to share it with you. Please just be mindful that your words are hurting a young girl your boyfriend raised. Please stop confusing me with Raquel

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Sal's avatar

I did seek help but there was no stalking by me. I’m aware my daughter sent some unkind things but she is a kid that lost a man that raised her. He has been in touch with us and had no idea until now Sarah has created all of this

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Stephanie leonard's avatar

Can’t wait for part 2 !!

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Coming soon, stay tuned! Thanks so much for reading 📖😊

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Sal's avatar

Part 2 has been posted

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Leslie Ward's avatar

Now that the story's final installment has been posted, I'm starting at the beginning and reading all four installments back to back. Holy shit! Just this installment alone is so unhinged! I can't wait to read the rest!

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Jane Pratt's avatar

I want to reread it all at once too. It's astonishing

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

It’s never too late! Grateful to have you here, Leslie, looking forward to your insights when you make it to the end! One love. ❤️

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James's avatar

Truth is stranger than fiction. Very brave of you to be vulnerable enough to share this story. It’s miraculous how you’re able to be so kind and open-hearted towards your protagonist in this story. Most of us would not be able to withstand the toxic barrage. Wishing everyone involved peace and healthy love for the future.

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Sarah Swinwood's avatar

Such a kind and thoughtful comment, thank you! I attempted to bring forth the most healing perspective possible while knowing I was exposing my own blind spots in the process. Excited to hear your thoughts on how part three evolves past all of this! ♥️

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Sal's avatar

And another

I would never tell him what to do or try and stop him from speaking to or seeing you. He’s his own person. When you were telling me to tell him to go there, I hadn’t even spoken to him. I don’t have that much power anyway.

This is all way too intense for me and I don’t want to be involved. I work as a teacher and interpreter in Brooklyn and the Bronx - it’s very demanding work and I don’t have space in my life for all of this. I really do wish you the best, and I can’t speak for Eric, but I’m sure he’ll come around in his own time. I don’t know him as well as you do.

Wishing you grace, peace, harmony and love.

Sarah

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Sal's avatar

Sarah’s messages to me

Hi Sallly,

The reason I haven’t responded to you is because I think you have largely over inflated my role in this. The last time I saw Eric, we both decided it would be best to cool it and not pursue a relationship right now. I have some family issues and he needs to settle things in his life that have nothing to do with me. It’s to complicated at this stage to support or be there for each other. When you were messaging me this weekend about his things, I was with my auntie in Princeton who was recently in a car accident. I’ve been going back and forth to help her and am consumed with things that have nothing to do with you or Eric.

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