Imagining the Totally Awesome Smells of Our 80s and 90s Icons

Celebrating the misfits and weirdos I wanted to be and guessing what they'd smell like

The more I get into perfume the more it seeps into every part of my life. I walk by strangers on the street and as soon as I pick up on the faintest whiff of a fragrance I stop and try to place it. What someone wears says so much about who they are, especially when it comes to fragrance. It’s a window into their personality and it’s deeply fun to get those glimpses. I watch shows and think about what the characters smell like— do they wear popular designer fragrances or are they into more niche indie brands? These are the useless thoughts that go through my head far too often. So of course I thought it would be fun to make a list of some of my favorite movie and TV characters and pair them with the fragrances I think they’d wear today.

I was always drawn to the outsiders and outcasts even though I fit in just fine in my New Jersey suburban town. I’m not sure if that’s universal or specific to Gen X. I wanted Bender from The Breakfast Club to be my boyfriend. I loved the weirdness of Allison making it snow with her dandruff. I longed for Iona’s life as a cool record store owner in Pretty in Pink. In no particular order here’s an incomplete list of characters I loved from the stuff I watched growing up in the 80s and 90s including which scents I think they’d wear. This is informed by my existing knowledge of fragrances which has its limits! So please comment if you have an idea or disagree with a scent I selected for these characters.

Janeane Garofalo forever and always.

Vicky from Reality Bites - Violet Ends by Boy Smells

Vickie was the character I wanted to be from Reality Bites. Good style, confident, fun, fearless. She had some rough edges, was no bullshit, and had a detached aloofness I respected.

My boyfriend Andé said he thought Vickie would smell like leather and motor oil. I agreed with the leather, I’m sure she had a classic worn-in leather jacket she wore. But I also thought she’d smell feminine and sexy. I landed on Violet Ends by Boy Smells, one of my favorite leather scents. It’s such a weird one, I have yet to find another fragrance like it. It smells like the inside of a vintage car that someone has been smoking in, there might be a lipstick stain on the leather interior and the woman who drives it wears a classic floral perfume and always smokes with the windows rolled up, even on hot days. There’s a stash of extra makeup in her glove compartment along with a pair of gloves from the 1930s that cover most of her arms, she wears them in winter. It’s a curious smell and you’re not sure if you like it but you keep putting your head in to smell more.

Judd Nelson as Bender in The Breakfast Club. The fact that he didn’t take part in Andrew McCarthy’s documentary about the Brat Pack made me love him more.

Bender from The Breakfast Club - Wonderwood by Comme des Garcons

When I tell you I was obsessed with this character. Bender was a bad boy. Your classic comes from a broken home, not sure what to do with these big feelings inside, angry at the world so I’ll just act way tougher than I am and pretend I don’t want to get close to anyone ever type of dude. And boy was that my type growing up. He had the best character arc in the movie, and you ended up loving him despite all the off-color things he said that definitely wouldn’t make it into movies today.

Let’s be honest, Bender wouldn’t wear a fragrance. He would smell like Right Guard deodorant and maybe his dad’s Old Spice aftershave. But if he did wear something it would be woodsy and rugged. Something a little strong and slightly sexy that pulled you in and made you realize there was way more going on beneath that stereotypical tough exterior. He would never spring for a bottle of Comme des Garcons — way too fancy and off-brand for him. But I could see him smelling like Wonderwood. Heavy on woods with a little peppery spice and incense. Deep, and a little dark but oddly alluring.

Jo from Facts of Life was played by Nancy McKeon, what ever happened to her?

Jo from The Facts of Life - Debaser by D.S. & DURGA

An outsider who didn’t care about boys. Tough, intelligent, a smart ass who wasn’t afraid to break the rules. Maybe my obsession with Jo was just foreshadowing that I would have some badass lesbian friends as an adult. Made all the cooler in contrast to Blair’s prissiness, Jo was the character I wanted to hang out with.

Jo has some Bender vibes, they’d be friends and drink beers while working on cars together. While D.S. & Durga is way too fancy and Brooklyn cool for Jo, I could see her smelling like Debaser. Mossy and musky, a scent that’s really influenced by the wearer’s skin, dirty but alluring. Unfussy. It doesn’t hit you over the head when you walk in a room but is a slow build you appreciate over time. I could also see her smelling like Slow Explosions from Imaginary Authors. That one has a real rubber-meets-road asphalt kind of smell with the slightest whiff of flowers buried beneath all that pavement.

Annie Potts in Pretty in Pink as Iona, the record store owner and Andie’s boss with killer style and an outsider attitude.

Iona from Pretty In Pink - Rosarine by Dusita

The cool adult you look up to and want to be, with an encyclopedic knowledge of good music. A record store owner with impossibly chic style, Iona was the icon I wish I had in my life growing up. She’s wise counsel to Andie (Molly Ringwald) depicted to be so much older than she was, just 32 when it was filmed. I’m still chasing her style but I’ll never be as cool as her.

Iona would smell like some classic vintage floral perfume. Maybe a Guerlain scent, since I’m not as familiar with their fragrances I’m going to put her in Rosarine by Dusita. Rosarine is a sticky sweet floral but not cloyingly sweet. It has a real vintage vibe to it. It’s one of my favorite roses, with some orris, incense, and patchouli that dirty it up a bit and give it an earthy vibe. It pairs perfectly with a good vintage dress.

Punky Brewster was played by Soleil Moon Frye who seems to have turned out alright.

Punky Brewster - In Love with Everything by Imaginary Authors

I was obsessed with Punky Brewster when I was little. I would record episodes on VHS and rewatch them over and over. I wanted her style and her spunk. I think I also loved that she was an abandoned child with a dog taken in by a recluse photographer. WTF with that plot line for a sitcom? The 80s were a weird place.

Punky would wear something fruity and sweet. Strawberry and mango, something really juicy and perky that took over any room she walked into. It’s impossible to ignore Punky so it’s only right her fragrance should match that energy. She’d go crazy for a classic fruity 80s smell. I’d love for her to wear In Love with Everything by Imaginary Authors, which perfectly captures my 80s girlhood nostalgia, but she’d also be drawn to any fruity scent by Phlur. She’d put it on before going to the mall in her roller skates.

Who remembers Mallory’s boyfriends name!? Tell us in the comments please!

Mallory from Family Ties - Thé Noir 29 by Le Labo

I liked the aloof coolness of Mallory from Family Ties, especially in juxtaposition to Alex’s straight-edge vibe. The least outsider-y on this list, she seemed well-liked and was probably popular at school. But there was something mysterious and mature about her, the older sister who would stick up for you at school but ignore you at home. The most well-adjusted in her family. She’d grow up to have an interesting job working with musicians or artists and she’d wear hip indie brands you never heard of.

Mallory would wear a cool girl scent. Something slightly out of reach but well-known and universally liked, with just an air of mystery. I could see her smelling like Thé Noir 29 by Le Labo. A scent that gets you noticed but not in an obvious way, something that smells a little like money, but also makes you seem accessible. She’d get the money for a bottle from her parents after getting a good report card even though Alex did all her homework.

I dated someone once who made fun of me for liking John Cusack. Say Anything secured his place in my heart and I won’t apologize for it.

Lloyd Dobler - Dunhill by Dunhill

I recently made my 16-year-old niece watch Say Anything, along with my 55-year-old brother who had somehow never seen it. It holds up pretty well. Lloyd Dobler is a good dude. He’s funny and earnest and cool enough to hang out with the most interesting girls at school. He’s also a romantic outsider who has zero interest in conforming. The monologue he gives when asked what he wants to do with his future? Chef’s kiss. Including it below for your viewing pleasure.

Lloyd would wear something classic and reliable, a scent he got from his dad or his grandfather and never stopped wearing, because he couldn’t be bothered to look for something new and because he’s sentimental about smelling like the men in his family. I recently smelled my friend Jason’s bottle of Dunhill and I think this is what Lloyd would smell like—solid, reliable, and comforting. A scent that could take you from mowing the lawn to a nice but not too fancy dinner. No fuss, no pretension, just a solid warm scent that’s always there.

“I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.”

Just for fun here’s the reality of who I was in the 80s and 90s. I think my first fragrance in high school was Dior’s Poison but I also really loved Liz Claiborne’s perfume.

I loved that yellow leather jacket so much.

Ally Sheedy as Allison in the Breakfast Club. We all agree now that she’s the most interesting and attractive one in that movie, right?

Who would you add to this list!? Tell me your childhood icons and what fragrances you think they’d wear.

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