It Happened To Me: I Almost Took Home The Wrong Baby
Plus Jane gleefully grosses you out for the trillionth time
Before we get into today's wonderful, thoughtful it happened to me installment, here is something that happened to me and I'm really curious how you would handle it:
I went to get a professional full- body massage. After about 30 minutes, I heard a slurping sound and looked up to see that the masseur was using his own saliva as lubricant instead of lotion (or baby oil!). What would you do? I will tell you what I did in the comments. In the meantime, don't forget to send me your It Happened To Me stories, as Sibylla did here, and get published and paid for them. I love you and I'm sorry! -Jane
By Sibylla Nash
What kind of mother would bring home the wrong baby from the hospital? I mean, who wouldn’t recognize their own kid? Never in a million years did I think it would almost be me, but lo and behold, I was this close to waltzing out of the hospital and raising someone else’s baby or being tackled by security for kidnapping (it could have gone either way). So, you’re probably wondering how I got there…
For those who know me best, they know I’m not a kid person. I’m the one at the dog park, petting all the floofy fluffies, oohing and ahhing over the adorable Pitbull Chihuahua mixes and friendly Labs. But babies, meh, I was too much in my Living Single era to get all dewy-eyed over them… until I found out I was having one of my own.