ALSO: Jane is having trouble keeping this secret. PLUS: Get paid to write your story here! It's a fun and easy process (though maybe not the writing part).
Wow. This is all kinds of intense. You did an excellent job at putting us in your complicated POV throughout the trial and the aftermath. Bravo.
Here I go again latching onto something that is absolutely not the point: I never would have imagined that massage therapy wouldn't be considered real healthcare. That's kind of baffling. Don't therapists still need to be licensed, go through extensive training and the like? How is that not a healthcare profession? Actually, my PCP just prescribed massage therapy for me as an adjunct treatment for my CPTSD, so I guess we'll see what happens. Any suggestions for what I can do to prepare and make sure the sessions are as helpful as possible?
As a former rape/domestic crisis councilor, and as someone whose taken punches to the face, cigarette burns, and had men beet-faced swearing spittle flying profanities for refusing to release the info of where their badly beaten wife was hiding:
They do the con so easily because they believe it. They also view women as lesser humans. They believe that there’s no such thing as rape, because a vagina refusing them wouldn’t allow entry. As you said - screams of passion and screams of pain/for rescue seemingly sound the same.
So. Rape doesnt exist and if a woman doesn’t want to get hit she’ll behave.
And this ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ mentality displayed by so many men in power positions and boy-jockeyed along by the women beside them is why the little justice there is won’t last much longer.
I expect that the conviction had more to do with violating workplace ethics than violating the women, even if violating the women was the workplace misdeeds. Same as overcharging for hours or stealing office supplies. In that regard, the women were lucky.
the next night not be covered by workplace rules - which are far more stringent in private entities like massage therapy NOT covered by the umbrella of a hospital. Had this been on hospital grounds this case likely never would have gotten a court date, as hospitals have the time, money and lawyers designated to preventing cases like this from ever seeing the light of day.
And this might shed some light on why it’s not a covered by insurance. Nudity, oil and dark rooms with closed doors? You might note that you are no longer allowed to be alone in a room during a pelvic exam with the doctor anymore. Someone else must be present. So, in order to be a valid medical therapy, insurance would expect something similar. A nice relaxing massage with a spotter watching where the hands go - yours, and the massager.
Anyway, I’ve been ‘the wife’ in this article, leaving a trail of more educated males behind me who viewed rape entirely different after hearing my story.
Oh! We didn’t know it was like THAT. THAT… is horrific. I make feminists in my wake.
But the one thing I can guarantee - the more evil the man, the more convincing the acting. It’s an important thing to carry in life as a weapon.
because one won’t always have a spouse to take them to task.
Cal, through their nonprofit, Healwell, has dedicated their career to making this a reality -/ through training of massage therapists (me), educating health care practitioners and advocating for our integration. Slowly research is coming round to the power and potential of massage therapy. But with that responsibility comes access that can be abused as this therapist did. I’ve been a masssge therapist for 15 years. I’ve been propositioned countless times, and I’ve heard clients tell me about male therapists who took advantage.
I am really curious what you all think of this: I just answered one subscriber who cancelled because they are not interested in a rape apologist story. I asked them to see where the piece ends up and that I think it contains an important message because there are people who feel the way the writer started to. I understand that the article begins there with the headline, and that that element (of even questioning believing the perpetrator) is contained in the piece, but what do you all think?
I guess i am confused as to how this “rape” was perpetrated? if the masseuse asked the women what they wanted - how is this rape? My masseuse always asks about pressure and specific areas before proceeding to massage me.. and the genital area is never involved? If this were to be even mentioned I would get off the table immediately. So these victims never said no?
Wow. This is all kinds of intense. You did an excellent job at putting us in your complicated POV throughout the trial and the aftermath. Bravo.
Here I go again latching onto something that is absolutely not the point: I never would have imagined that massage therapy wouldn't be considered real healthcare. That's kind of baffling. Don't therapists still need to be licensed, go through extensive training and the like? How is that not a healthcare profession? Actually, my PCP just prescribed massage therapy for me as an adjunct treatment for my CPTSD, so I guess we'll see what happens. Any suggestions for what I can do to prepare and make sure the sessions are as helpful as possible?
As a former rape/domestic crisis councilor, and as someone whose taken punches to the face, cigarette burns, and had men beet-faced swearing spittle flying profanities for refusing to release the info of where their badly beaten wife was hiding:
They do the con so easily because they believe it. They also view women as lesser humans. They believe that there’s no such thing as rape, because a vagina refusing them wouldn’t allow entry. As you said - screams of passion and screams of pain/for rescue seemingly sound the same.
So. Rape doesnt exist and if a woman doesn’t want to get hit she’ll behave.
And this ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ mentality displayed by so many men in power positions and boy-jockeyed along by the women beside them is why the little justice there is won’t last much longer.
I expect that the conviction had more to do with violating workplace ethics than violating the women, even if violating the women was the workplace misdeeds. Same as overcharging for hours or stealing office supplies. In that regard, the women were lucky.
the next night not be covered by workplace rules - which are far more stringent in private entities like massage therapy NOT covered by the umbrella of a hospital. Had this been on hospital grounds this case likely never would have gotten a court date, as hospitals have the time, money and lawyers designated to preventing cases like this from ever seeing the light of day.
And this might shed some light on why it’s not a covered by insurance. Nudity, oil and dark rooms with closed doors? You might note that you are no longer allowed to be alone in a room during a pelvic exam with the doctor anymore. Someone else must be present. So, in order to be a valid medical therapy, insurance would expect something similar. A nice relaxing massage with a spotter watching where the hands go - yours, and the massager.
Anyway, I’ve been ‘the wife’ in this article, leaving a trail of more educated males behind me who viewed rape entirely different after hearing my story.
Oh! We didn’t know it was like THAT. THAT… is horrific. I make feminists in my wake.
But the one thing I can guarantee - the more evil the man, the more convincing the acting. It’s an important thing to carry in life as a weapon.
because one won’t always have a spouse to take them to task.
Cal, through their nonprofit, Healwell, has dedicated their career to making this a reality -/ through training of massage therapists (me), educating health care practitioners and advocating for our integration. Slowly research is coming round to the power and potential of massage therapy. But with that responsibility comes access that can be abused as this therapist did. I’ve been a masssge therapist for 15 years. I’ve been propositioned countless times, and I’ve heard clients tell me about male therapists who took advantage.
I am really curious what you all think of this: I just answered one subscriber who cancelled because they are not interested in a rape apologist story. I asked them to see where the piece ends up and that I think it contains an important message because there are people who feel the way the writer started to. I understand that the article begins there with the headline, and that that element (of even questioning believing the perpetrator) is contained in the piece, but what do you all think?
I guess i am confused as to how this “rape” was perpetrated? if the masseuse asked the women what they wanted - how is this rape? My masseuse always asks about pressure and specific areas before proceeding to massage me.. and the genital area is never involved? If this were to be even mentioned I would get off the table immediately. So these victims never said no?