Taylor Swift has a friend breakup song called RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME, it’s a bonus track from the deluxe version of Evermore
“Friends break up, friends get married…but I’m right where you left me” 🫶🏻
I had a friend fully ghost me for reasons I still don’t know. The last time we saw each other was when we went to see Lizzo in 2023 & she just stopped replying to my texts. About six months ago I saw on her Facebook that she had gotten engaged, so I texted her to congratulate her and she responded with a thank you. But then I followed it up with “Did I do something to make you mad? I haven’t seen you in forever and I miss you!”
And she never responded. It’s such a bummer when people can’t bring themselves to tell you the truth
I love that song - didn’t even make the connection it was about a friend 💔. Thank you for sharing Tara and I’m sorry you went through that with your friend. So hard not to have any closure!
You both nail the feeling of a friend breakup - brutal, sad, and universal. My most recent ones have been both friends I made my freshman year of high school (I’m now 42). One breakup was 4 years ago and one last year and I still wake up wanting to tell them something or wondering how their kids are-and wondering if they ever think of me… anyway excited to see your movie and thanks for making me feel less alone in my friend loss!
Thank you, Jianna. I’m both glad and sorry this resonates! Can’t wait for you to see the film - what you describe at the end is exactly what we try to capture 🤍💔
I had a breakup earlier this year and I still have no idea why. A mutual friend had died suddenly and my close friend was the one to tell me. She said she didn’t want to talk about it so I didn’t ask her to.
But, she just fully withdrew and became terse with me. When I asked if there was something I did wrong that I needed to make right, she blew up and told me to stop. That was the last communication we had. I even showed the texts to two other friends and they couldn’t understand it either.
It was nothing short of debilitating. I second guessed myself for weeks.
The hardest part is if my friend comes back and wants to reestablish our friendship I’m not sure I’d do it. I’d always be on edge, wondering if the next thing that happens will end the friendship. I can’t live like that.
I've had a few of these. One of the weirdest was a friend who turned on me after she married my ex boyfriend. I mean, the two of them initially met while he and I were dating, so I'm not sure what her problem was. I was only hesitant about their relationship for her sake, since he was notorious for drinking and drugging and she was naive about those things. On top of that, they both moved into my apartment that I shared with a real jerk who thought I was faulty because I was from "the South." I'm actually from Oklahoma, which is a hybrid of Southern and Western culture, but whatever, he was a mean jerk to me because of it and she somehow talked him into kicking me out with 6 hours notice to move everything I owned or else she was going to put it all into the street. We lived in the Mission district of San Francisco, so it was a pretty brutal threat seeing as my record collection would have been pillaged within seconds. In fact, she and my ex went through my records while I was visiting home and took whatever he deemed "his."
I have had another break up because she wanted to social climb and I was going through a tough divorce where the I had been through emotional and physical abuse, but my ex was in a semi popular band and could get her onto the guest list, etc...she actually dumped me for the girl who was having an affair with my husband, or girls I should say, since he absolutely fucked everyone behind my back and she seemed to be friends with all of them.
I've been more betrayed by my female friends than the majority of my romantic relationships. I think insecurities played a part as well as jealousy over dudes, some who are definitely not worth it. Then there's the double friend dump that happened when my mom died. Stupid me for allowing my mom to die I guess. 🙄
Women be cray. I'm so thankful for my current female friendships.
Ah, the solace of my life is that terrible things sometimes make great stories. Thank you for saying so. Shitheads indeed!
I was revisiting the article in Jane magazine about Natasha Lyonne and I remember reading it back in the day. I get why Michael R. was upset, and I get why she was upset too. I've certainly done things that I'm not proud of while drinking or high, and being so publicly called out had to hurt. I've also been totally frustrated trying to help friends who are still using and can imagine losing my patience and lashing out too. As a hot scoop, it really was. I was absolutely enthralled, probably because she reminded me of myself and my friends. It kinda seems like if Jane didn't publish it, somebody else would have, and at least in Jane there's a better chance of the audience being less judgemental than say, People magazine or US Weekly. That stigma is hard to shake off, as you know I have to be careful myself. I hate it, but I've learned the hard way that honesty isn't always rewarded.
Didn't she write a rebuttal of some kind afterwards? Or am I making this up?
Damn - such big betrayals. Even worse when it's over some shitty guy...or even worse when your'e grieving the loss of a parent...grateful for the real female friendships that have stood the test of time and big life events/ tragedies
Thanks for the validation. Sometimes I forget how brutal these things are.
So very grateful for all the good women in my life. I love women so much, but it's not always reciprocated. When I see a cool amazing woman, I want to be her friend, not seethe with envy and jealousy while plotting her downfall, but that's how female friendships feel sometimes. Diabolical.
Thanks for this topic. I still feel upset about one where I will never know if I did something? I had to have or this person would not start ignoring me? I sometimes wAnt to text her mom and ask but maybe that's weird?
The other one I initiated. The person is my kids godmom but was possessive of me. I was not anticipating her family and friends being really mad at me. Made me wish friend divorce wAs more formally accepted bc had it been a romantic relationship I feel like everyone she knew wouldn't be mad at me for hurting her by friend dumping her. My story is so boring but thank you for opportunity to commune about it. For sure seeing this film.
You guys can I text my friend's mom to ask what happened or is that too weird?
I love this comment! It's exactly what we're here to do – just tell our stories. And I say absolutely text the mom. I wouldn't worry at all that it would be weird. Even if it is, I wouldn't care. Let me know if you do!
Yes, let us know if you text her mom! Sometimes we really just need clarity. It is wild there are no rules on how to have a friend breakup like a romantic one when they are so common and just as (if not more!) painful! Thanks for the comment, AJoy!
Taylor Swift has a friend breakup song called RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME, it’s a bonus track from the deluxe version of Evermore
“Friends break up, friends get married…but I’m right where you left me” 🫶🏻
I had a friend fully ghost me for reasons I still don’t know. The last time we saw each other was when we went to see Lizzo in 2023 & she just stopped replying to my texts. About six months ago I saw on her Facebook that she had gotten engaged, so I texted her to congratulate her and she responded with a thank you. But then I followed it up with “Did I do something to make you mad? I haven’t seen you in forever and I miss you!”
And she never responded. It’s such a bummer when people can’t bring themselves to tell you the truth
I love that song - didn’t even make the connection it was about a friend 💔. Thank you for sharing Tara and I’m sorry you went through that with your friend. So hard not to have any closure!
You both nail the feeling of a friend breakup - brutal, sad, and universal. My most recent ones have been both friends I made my freshman year of high school (I’m now 42). One breakup was 4 years ago and one last year and I still wake up wanting to tell them something or wondering how their kids are-and wondering if they ever think of me… anyway excited to see your movie and thanks for making me feel less alone in my friend loss!
Thank you, Jianna. I’m both glad and sorry this resonates! Can’t wait for you to see the film - what you describe at the end is exactly what we try to capture 🤍💔
I had a breakup earlier this year and I still have no idea why. A mutual friend had died suddenly and my close friend was the one to tell me. She said she didn’t want to talk about it so I didn’t ask her to.
But, she just fully withdrew and became terse with me. When I asked if there was something I did wrong that I needed to make right, she blew up and told me to stop. That was the last communication we had. I even showed the texts to two other friends and they couldn’t understand it either.
It was nothing short of debilitating. I second guessed myself for weeks.
The hardest part is if my friend comes back and wants to reestablish our friendship I’m not sure I’d do it. I’d always be on edge, wondering if the next thing that happens will end the friendship. I can’t live like that.
That sounds really devastating and unsettling 💔
Such a good point, it’s hard to know what repair looks like after that kind of damage is done.
Congratulations on the film, it looks lovely!!
It is! I cried when I watched it and laughed so so hard and Kat's performance in it blew me away.
Thank you, Courtney! We hope you enjoy it. :) And thank you, Jane for the kind words XO
I've had a few of these. One of the weirdest was a friend who turned on me after she married my ex boyfriend. I mean, the two of them initially met while he and I were dating, so I'm not sure what her problem was. I was only hesitant about their relationship for her sake, since he was notorious for drinking and drugging and she was naive about those things. On top of that, they both moved into my apartment that I shared with a real jerk who thought I was faulty because I was from "the South." I'm actually from Oklahoma, which is a hybrid of Southern and Western culture, but whatever, he was a mean jerk to me because of it and she somehow talked him into kicking me out with 6 hours notice to move everything I owned or else she was going to put it all into the street. We lived in the Mission district of San Francisco, so it was a pretty brutal threat seeing as my record collection would have been pillaged within seconds. In fact, she and my ex went through my records while I was visiting home and took whatever he deemed "his."
I have had another break up because she wanted to social climb and I was going through a tough divorce where the I had been through emotional and physical abuse, but my ex was in a semi popular band and could get her onto the guest list, etc...she actually dumped me for the girl who was having an affair with my husband, or girls I should say, since he absolutely fucked everyone behind my back and she seemed to be friends with all of them.
I've been more betrayed by my female friends than the majority of my romantic relationships. I think insecurities played a part as well as jealousy over dudes, some who are definitely not worth it. Then there's the double friend dump that happened when my mom died. Stupid me for allowing my mom to die I guess. 🙄
Women be cray. I'm so thankful for my current female friendships.
Wow those are some good stories and some shithead "friends."
Ah, the solace of my life is that terrible things sometimes make great stories. Thank you for saying so. Shitheads indeed!
I was revisiting the article in Jane magazine about Natasha Lyonne and I remember reading it back in the day. I get why Michael R. was upset, and I get why she was upset too. I've certainly done things that I'm not proud of while drinking or high, and being so publicly called out had to hurt. I've also been totally frustrated trying to help friends who are still using and can imagine losing my patience and lashing out too. As a hot scoop, it really was. I was absolutely enthralled, probably because she reminded me of myself and my friends. It kinda seems like if Jane didn't publish it, somebody else would have, and at least in Jane there's a better chance of the audience being less judgemental than say, People magazine or US Weekly. That stigma is hard to shake off, as you know I have to be careful myself. I hate it, but I've learned the hard way that honesty isn't always rewarded.
Didn't she write a rebuttal of some kind afterwards? Or am I making this up?
Damn - such big betrayals. Even worse when it's over some shitty guy...or even worse when your'e grieving the loss of a parent...grateful for the real female friendships that have stood the test of time and big life events/ tragedies
Thanks for the validation. Sometimes I forget how brutal these things are.
So very grateful for all the good women in my life. I love women so much, but it's not always reciprocated. When I see a cool amazing woman, I want to be her friend, not seethe with envy and jealousy while plotting her downfall, but that's how female friendships feel sometimes. Diabolical.
Thanks for this topic. I still feel upset about one where I will never know if I did something? I had to have or this person would not start ignoring me? I sometimes wAnt to text her mom and ask but maybe that's weird?
The other one I initiated. The person is my kids godmom but was possessive of me. I was not anticipating her family and friends being really mad at me. Made me wish friend divorce wAs more formally accepted bc had it been a romantic relationship I feel like everyone she knew wouldn't be mad at me for hurting her by friend dumping her. My story is so boring but thank you for opportunity to commune about it. For sure seeing this film.
You guys can I text my friend's mom to ask what happened or is that too weird?
I love this comment! It's exactly what we're here to do – just tell our stories. And I say absolutely text the mom. I wouldn't worry at all that it would be weird. Even if it is, I wouldn't care. Let me know if you do!
Yes, let us know if you text her mom! Sometimes we really just need clarity. It is wild there are no rules on how to have a friend breakup like a romantic one when they are so common and just as (if not more!) painful! Thanks for the comment, AJoy!