Letter From The Editor Who Hates My Work Currently

Here is the highly anticipated, highly annoying, unsolicited AJPT critique I received from another editor the other day. Now help me with a comeback!

Oh, Hello! (As Charlie always says with genuine surprise in his voice, no matter how planned our meeting is.)

Back when I was editing Sassy magazine, my standard response to criticism (mostly from old white men, to be blunt), whether general or specific about what I was publishing, was: “Well, you’re not exactly in the demographic.” And I said it so it was clear that the voicey, independent, smart, integrity-laden teenage girl demographic they were not part of was the best one. Duh.

I thought of that again when, during our glorious AJPT Book Club meeting on Sunday, an email came through from this editor guy. But that’s not the right comeback this time, particularly as AJPT really is for all ages and genders. So if you read this and have any good sassy responses for me, I would really appreciate it and I vow to use them and give you the report back on how they go over. Ok, here goes the story!

There is some background in my intro yesterday, if you want it.

This letter you see below was sent six months after two pitch emails that I admit I did not respond to. As anyone else who has ever submitted here (to jane@anotherjaneprattthing.com) knows, I generally respond very quickly. Especially when a pitch is really great or a manuscript is really great and then I just start typing out my excited reaction whether it's 3:30 in the morning or whenever, because it’s so exhilarating, inspiring and immediately fulfilling and who could go to sleep after an exciting well written new story that I might get to show to more people?!!

In the case of this unsolicited manuscript, I actually thought that no response was the best response. That’s because the manuscript was, as I told Corynne and probably Charlie too at the time (though I try to gossip slightly less with Charlie because I think he finds it slightly less fun), the single worst pitch I have ever received in my entire four-decade-long career as an editor. That's saying something! I didn't think the submitter would want to hear my critique though. I didn't think he would listen, from the tone of it. And there was nothing to salvage - as my cohorts here also know, I love to take a pitch with even one inspired line or idea in it and build upon that. But this had no redeeming qualities. So I didn't respond.

So below this recent letter, I'll show you the two pitch letters he sent. I don't think I will show you the manuscript he also sent, because I'm not sure if that's fair to do in case he wants to try to get it published somewhere else. I'll take your thoughts on that though.

It's not that I can't learn something from any criticism, including this. I've been getting it since day one of Sassy magazine, and it has always been really really helpful, no matter how petty or vitriolic. I've also been getting letters since day two of Sassy magazine saying that my current version of whatever publication I'm working on is not as good as my previous one. (Late Sassy wasn't as good as early Sassy and Jane magazine wasn't as good as any Sassy and then boy did Jane go downhill since its inception, but then XOJane wasn't as good as any of those previous publications, etc. etc. I get it. It seems sadly equivalent to how most people view their lives.) And certainly not everyone loves AJPT and that's a totally respectable position to take.

I've also gotten many many worse critiques than this one, like being told to get a lobotomy AND go and put my head in a toilet (on TV) or told I had no brain (to my face by my boss) and various other diagnoses and prescriptions.

The arrogance of this critique is what bothers the shit out of me. To spell it out, the line that irks me the very most is:

“Why do I think my opinion matters more than most?”

I would love to ask him that genuine question and maybe he will come here and answer it, but he asks it rhetorically. Which is where I have no words - which is where you come in. So what do you think?