Selling Girl Scout Cookies Fueled My Daughter's Anorexia

PLUS: It's a SASSY magazine, JANE magazine and XOJane.com reunion! So RSVP if you're interested. If not, no worries.

Hello sweeties-all-the-time,

I recognize that I have been publishing a lot of doozies lately and that you are overdue for a ditty (I just made that up as an opposite for doozy – feel free to suggest other ideas). Fortunately, I have a great hilarious little story coming up this week - written by this crabby writer - that I promise will make you guffaw or chortle or both.

I also encourage you to write your It Happened To Me stories of all topics and tones. It could sound like a cop-out, but if you don't find what you want to read here, make it yourself! Then send it to me at Jane@AnotherJanePrattThing.com. There’s a really good chance that I will agree with you that it’s just what's needed and publish it and pay you for it.

Also coming this week, by ridiculously popular demand, the next installment of our genius advice columnist’s aptly named "Making Bad Choices With Rain Phoenix” where she unconventionally advises one of you fortunate readers on your current relationship dilemma. It could be you! Or someone with an even bigger problem! So that’s a dream. And those are some uplifting things to look forward to.

Today's featured piece, while on a serious topic, is timely because it's related to this Eating Disorders Awareness month. I'm keenly aware too, having been told by people in this community who I love, that seeing so much ED coverage everywhere throughout this month can be triggering. I have also learned that those people don't need any more awareness themselves because they are aware of living with it every single day.

So I hope you agree with me that Kirsten’s story (which she just sent me unsolicited at that same email address above that you’re going to use for your submission!) is another key take on eating disorders that a lot of us can learn from. I will also let you know here first that while emailing back-and-forth working on this piece, Kirsten mentioned that she and her thriving daughter, now 18, are right now on a college tour. So you can go into the story below knowing that there is a happy ending. You're welcome! I love you! Tell me what you think about all of this and let's talk to Kirsten and each other much more in the comments.

Also, reminder to RSVP to my Sassy, Jane, XoJane and AJ PT readers’ and editors’ gathering here, You can start by telling me what times work best for you and whether you prefer to do it virtually or come to my place in NYC. Some of you seem to hate the virtual idea.

XO Jane

By Kirsten Love

[Note: I’m starting this piece with an image and running all these photos of Kirsten’s daughter in roughly chronological order throughout the story, not only so that you can see how effervescent she is all the way through, but also as a reminder of how easy it is to affect a very young child in a moment in a seemingly innocuous way that then insidiously grows right along with the kid. -Jane] This was my daughter’s first camping trip with her troop and it pretty much sums up her enthusiasm about the whole experience. She was six years old and this was a few months before her first cookie selling season and her first encounter with a random stranger talking about being on a diet.

Late winter means one thing to me as a Girl Scout Troop leader for the last twelve years: Girl Scout Cookie sales. Every year we gather in front of grocery stores to sell cookies, the girls in vests adorned with badges and patches and stars and pins.

7 years old, selling cookies on the front lawn.

When a woman of a certain age approaches our cookie booth, I buzz with excitement. Often they share memories from their own Girl Scouting experiences. The girls get a kick out of hearing that cookies were once a dollar or two per box, compared to the current six or seven. They share stories of camping trips and friendships forged during years with their own troops. The sense of community and legacy is powerful.My 18-year-old daughter has been a Girl Scout for 12 years. For her senior yearbook, she was voted most likely to survive in the wilderness. That is a direct result of Girl Scouts— all of the camping trips, the first aid classes, the kayaking, horseback riding, and hiking.

Hamming it up while moving the merch.

But another scenario plays itself out just as often: “Oh, I don’t need more calories!” they will say, often laughing as if what they are saying is casual, as if we are all aligned against the dreaded cookie. These are the women who feel the need to tell the girls that they won’t be making a purchase because they are on a diet.

My favorite pic- this is what I love about Girl Scouts. These girls- 7 years old in this picture- are still best friends. At 17 they were visiting in my daughter’s hospital room while she was being medically stabilized from anorexia.

The first time this happened, our troop members were only six years old. I was shocked that an adult would have the audacity to hand her diet culture over to girls so very young. It felt like a grenade had been casually tossed at these children, and as leaders, we frantically tried to mitigate the damage. Surely this was an anomaly, I thought. But every single time we sold, it was the same story. When our little girls called out “Come get your Girl Scout cookies!”, women replied that they were “too fat”.

Counting the cash after selling cookies in the front yard.

​Every time this happens, I want to scream, “Girls deserve support, not your diet culture!” Why do they feel the need to explain themselves to complete strangers when a polite no would do? How could they possibly feel this is appropriate or necessary to convey to children?

A 10 year old cookie-selling pro.

​My wilderness survivor daughter spent a chunk of her junior year hospitalized with anorexia, a brutal ordeal. And I