The Autistic Astrologer Predicts Your Future Like Nobody Else
ALSO: Jane is hiring a writer and editor soon, so apply now if you're interested!
Hello, Sassiest people ever!
Yesterday I got what I am pretty sure was my first manuscript submission that was completely AI generated. The funny thing is that it is not from someone new to me or AnotherJanePrattThing.com. It is from a repeat contributor. Someone who didn’t write this way in the past. I work a lot on each story for AJPT, as you know because I complain about it and have now gotten you in on the effort to take over some of my editorial duties, thank you thank you and thank you. So in what seems like the AI story, I gave my editorial notes and cuts and changes, as I usually do, but have not mentioned that I am fairly certain it was all AI. Would you say that? And how?
I am also winding down the period where I can accept new applicants for the writing/editing position announced here, so that I can move along and get the help I need from you to be able to publish more frequently and also sleep sometimes. So if you still want to be considered, email me Jane@AnotherJanePrattThing.com with the subject line “I’m A Good Person.” [Clarification for diligent people – thanks AJoy! – who have already written me about this: I wasn't clear – what else is new? – that if you have already emailed me, no need to email me again. This is just for new people who haven't applied yet. Thank you so much!]
It has felt a little cult-leaderesque - even for ME!! -to receive thousands of emails with that exact same mantra at the top. At the same time, I am glad that you all know what great people you are! And don’t let the number of applicants already make you concerned about your chances, because though I am picking one person in this round, I will certainly be hiring more in the ideally near future, so I will keep all of your wonderfully winning submissions on hand for that.
As always, I am going to go live in the comments now, where I would love to talk to you and where I hope you will answer my question about the etiquette of telling someone they are rudely cheating you and potentially your beloved readers with AI crap, so that I can respond the best way. You all are so good with words.
I love you!
Fellow Good Person, Jane
By The Zine Witch
What was going on in your life seven years ago?
What if your life had an algorithm that could unlock the patterns that help you solve life’s biggest problems?
We talk a lot about algorithms now. Algorithms deciding what we see. What we buy. What we think we want. Algorithms shaping attention, desire, and entire timelines of information before we ever consciously choose anything.
We also talk about systems tightening. About technology moving faster than our emotional ability to keep up with it. About the blur between convenience, surveillance, influence, and choice.
And right now, we are in Taurus season.
Which brings everything back into the body. Slowing down and getting back into your sensual body. What you can touch, taste, smell, hear. Into what is real and what actually holds. Taurus shows you what lasts and what collapses under pressure. It strips life down to what can be sustained.
In my work as an astrologer, people come in crisis. That is usually the entry point. Not when life is neat or reflective, but when something has already shifted and they are trying to understand what is happening before it fully lands.
I’ve often thought of my work less as interpretation and more as pattern detection inside real life. Detective work. Veronica Mars energy. Situations where too many layers are active at once and someone needs to see the structure underneath the surface story.
A family court case where someone is trying to understand the behavioral pattern they are dealing with. A celebrity navigating manipulation dynamics while maintaining public life. A musician trying to time an album release so it reaches the right audience. A writer mapping launch timing because visibility follows structure. An artist standing at a threshold where their direction is reorganizing itself. A CEO carrying inherited family dynamics while making decisions that affect entire systems. A mother trying to understand her autistic child without external projections distorting what is actually there.
I’ve also worked with people trying to understand chronic illness patterns, not only as diagnosis but as rhythm. What triggers flare ups. What stabilizes the system. What emotional states precede physical collapse. The body repeats information. It operates in cycles. It has its own logic.
My work lives in pattern recognition under pressure. Timing applied to lived experience. Seeing what is actually happening before language fully catches up.
And I’ve had to learn how to hold my own clarity inside that.
There are moments where naming what is real becomes the most stabilizing action available.
There was a moment with a client where I paused and asked directly if she wanted me to be blunt, even if it hurt.
I could see something forming in the chart suggesting her father may be entering a process of decline. Not certainty. Not fixed fate. A trajectory that required attention in real time.
Those conversations are not symbolic. They are immediate. They require honesty that does not wait for comfort to arrive first.
Inside this work, my own thinking has also changed.
My mind no longer moves in straight lines.
It moves through association, repetition, timing, symbolic linkage, and pattern recognition. Meaning forms in layers instead of sequences. Understanding often arrives before explanation is available.
Witchcraft was part of that shift.
It changed how I understand attention, intention, and symbolism as active forces inside lived experience. What you focus on repeatedly begins to reorganize how experience responds.
It also changed my relationship to power.
I stopped seeing myself as reacting to life and started noticing participation inside it. Not control. Participation. A feedback loop between awareness and outcome.
And that brings me to Uranus moving into Gemini.
This is a shift in how communication, movement, information, and thinking itself operate through everyday life.
My mind already moves in this direction. Ideas branch, reconnect, and form meaning in real time while language is still catching up. Sometimes understanding arrives before articulation. Thinking becomes less like sentences and more like live signal processing.
So the question returns.
What was going on in your life seven years ago?
What patterns were running your life at that time, and what has shifted since then underneath everything you thought was stable? That’s the big question this month for us to collectively ponder.
