Kris! Even after all of our emails and documents and technological glitches and notes back-and-forth, there's still more I want to say to you about your incredible story. First of all, thank you for being so completely upfront. Your honesty and vulnerability is inspiring.
Also: Now I kind of want Dave to write his version of this relationship story.
Also again: as I was editing, and began realizing that no, some of the people in the story who were originally not named were not all one person, and that you had in fact lost multiple people to their addictions, I found it so startling and powerful and moving that in the context of you advocating for a relationship where you are the addict that you would also include such stark facts about how addiction affected so many people that you knew and loved. That kind of juxtaposition makes this opinion piece so layered and interesting to me. Because it's not all tied up with a bow and no one has it all figured out.
Thank you and I love you for working on this with me.
And Lena, in case I you might find your way to Oklahoma during your upcoming book tour (which I'll be pre-ordering as soon I type this) please know I'm at your disposal for any Okie sightseeing adventures. As a chronic illness girlie, I'm also available for wallowing around in sweatpants and watching trash TV -- always.
Lena! Thank you so much for your kind words! Dave is so proud of this essay and the good responses it has gotten so far. I'm truly overjoyed that it is edited/published by such an icon like Jane, who has been nothing but kind and supportive throughout (14 year old Kris is losing her mind right now!) and that another woman writer whose work I truly love and admire likes it too!? C'mon! Amazing!
Jane- I'm already encouraging Dave to write his follow up essay from his perspective, such a great idea. He's so smart, dark and hilarious I know you'll love whatever he comes up with. Thank you again for everything!🖤
This article includes so much that moves me — but that caption and that photo of your two rocking out is solid gold. The world needs more Daves and whatever the plural of Kris is.
Are you talking specifically about the caption on the black-and-white photo where she says Dave on bass and me on drugs… I mean, drums? The moment I got that caption from Kris, I wrote to her screaming – it is one of my favorites ever. She said some people think her humor is dark, but not us!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this Kris Rose (what a name!) The wrap up gave my heart wings - this advocacy for being your own authoritative regulator- and Dave’s trusting,non-judgmental approach to how you decide to handle yourself. I recently heard a sociologist April Henning talk about this in the vein of: what is with people who want us all to be totally clean, pure and sober all the time when our environment is riddled with toxins and impurities? Acceptance leads to balance and better choices. I’m ever so grateful to be hearing and reading new perspectives on this topic. 💌
Kris, what a great piece. I’m so sorry to read about the misdiagnosis of your thyroid. It’s unfortunately super common for women…I have some experience with that myself.
I’m all for finding balance with substances and not judging anyone for being unable to “raw dog” daily life. I mean, just reading the news or hearing anything that goes on out in these here streets these days…*shudder*
Sorry to hear that you are familiar with medical mayhem too, wish things were different.
I think empathy is the key. Most of the people I've lost to addiction have been ashamed of their own need to go back to using and therefore end up in a more dangerous situation due to isolation. I think shame is a killer when it comes to substance use and abuse. Thank you for having an open mind and heart in this matter, it means a lot to those of us who deal with so much judgement.
I've been teaching myself and others about the vital importance of practicing self-kindness. When you begin to learn how to be kind to yourself, the effects ripple out and everyone benefits.
99% of the time judgement comes from fear of what one doesn't understand. We've been conditioned to designate anyone who doesn't conform to what we've been told is acceptable behavior "other" in our society.
I think we are at a tipping point, and that the shift is moving in the direction of compassion. That's what I am choosing to believe, anyway.
Jane! I missed the last one, but please count me in (virtually) for All Tomorrow's Parties! (Sorry, I had to! 🤣🍌) Kris, I'm so glad you're in a much better place these days, with a supportive partner who appreciates you!
I would love to join the Zoom party* weekend days sadly probably easiest... or summer, in case you're actually tallying preferences. I was a JANE intern in 99 or 00 winter and summer bc alas Sassy folded before I could follow in Chloe's footsteps. One bizarre task I just remember was combing through footage for checker cabs featured in movies. And drooling over the fashion closet and the freebies counter. Golden days of delicious-smelling print mags. Gigi and Stephanie Trong were my cool big sisters for that brief moment.
Got the internship thx to cutting class at Oberlin to meet Kim France who was speaking about journalism. Thank you Jane and Kim. Did I interview on spring break? Did I have to apply through snail mail? Bizarre world of late 90s.
It's way past schoolnight bedtime so, enough, but a quick nod to the beauty and joy of Kris' piece. Also good thing you didn't move to Portland and get sucked into that substance vortex. And THIS. YES! "Let me tell you, “in range,” is just a made up number taken from mostly white dudes because most medicine is tested on and for the benefit of white dudes"
*(Zoom party = something I am so not nostalgic for but am so nostalgic for Sassy and JANE forever it's worth it)
I'm so so glad I'll get to reunite with you. I hope you did get a lot of free stuff while you were working at Jane. One of the shittiest things when Condé Nast made us stop accepting designer presents was that we no longer had really good stuff to give to the interns. And to this day, I feel strange about not having a closet fully stocked with new items to go into to borrow tights or deodorant or whatever I might need. I don't think I went to a drugstore for 20 years because it was all right there.
And I am with you about not being that down for Zoom anything but I think this will be worth it too. I also like weekend nights or summer and I'll keep that in mind when scheduling. So great to hear back from you after all this time and I look forward to more catching up. XO
Thank you, "in range," kept me needlessly sick and in pain longer than I should have been. Women are researching and finding our own solutions (per usual) so I have faith that someday something will crack the last part of the code and I'll get some relief.
I’m honestly stuck on what is causing the chronic pain in this article, because that’s literally my side-gig: I solve medical mysteries. It’s much more impressive if you see my before I was my oncologist and after pics. Then I’m like the White Witch of the White Coats.
I like not in person parties. I’d go!
And I’m still firmly team Long-Form Jane. And I’m stoked about the ANTM as a watcher until ‘you at home could vote’. Yick.
I never watched it at the time but I'm aware that ANTM switched to audience voting and it does sound ick.
Also, I fully expected you to have insight into what Kris is dealing with pain-wise and maybe with more info you can help. Thank you for the thorough comment!
I'm very open to boring you with my long medical history and my struggle to find out exactly what is the major engine behind my chronic pain. I also love witches so...
Oh wow! I know that inflammation is a huge factor in my chronic pain, so perhaps histamines are involved? Would love to hear more about it when you get a chance.
Kris, The comments on your story really add to its complexity. It is fire. And a reliable bae who is cheerfully and perennially the DD is just as alluring a concept as one who regularly cooks and/or cleans. Where you really lucked out tho, is that Dave is also your band mate. The rock and roll party girls’ wet dream.
I too have many former party friends who hopefully RIP. They were the best time. I miss all the things that I could raucously cackle about with them every day. Another friend who misses one of them and I have started saying “growing old isn’t for babies.”
I hope that you find the source of your chronic pain! I suspect some witchy woman wise in the ways of the womb may be able to help you. I doubt that some White dude doctor will be able to. But I am guessing that’s something you already know.
Jane, I’m much more of an “in-person” vibe, but sometimes get curious enough to check out a Zoom. That is all to say that I may come to a Zoom but also may not. So I hope you plan one, but can’t promise to come if you do.
What a great comment. I'm sorry that you also have lost friends to substances. I have also but somehow not in nearly the numbers that Kris has. And it's strange for me to hear people as young as I think you and Kris are having already lost so many people. I was really shocked when I saw that in Kris's story.
And I hear you about the zoom thing. Maybe I'll consider doing what I did for our last book club meeting which is have the people who are in the area come physically to my apartment and then zoom it for the people who can't come. It worked really well last time. Let's see! Thanks for caring either way!
I'm sneaking up on fifty, and I often find myself out pacing those in their 70s as far as funerals attended stats go. Even friends in scenes who are from major cities where drugs are far cheaper and readily available are shocked by Tulsa's body count. So proud of my friends who run S.H.O.T.S. (stop harm on Tulsa streets) and do outreach here. Harm reduction is the key. Narcan is so much better than the old wives tale strategies we used back in the day to try and reverse overdoses. It definitely teaches you to tell your friends you love and appreciate them.
I don't mean to brag, but DD also cooks and does laundry 😀 not to mention that doing dishes is a kind of meditative activity for him as well. I really hit the jackpot. Just so it doesn't become nauseating, I'm in charge of all the dusting, organizing, countertop wiping and general house cleaning duties. Since I'm a maximalist in many ways, I have a lot of different collections that collect a fair amount of cat hair and dust, so it is up to me to make sure we don't devolve into a grey gardens situation.
Growing old is not for the weak indeed. I feel simultaneously tough AF and also on the brink of total collapse. This tightwire act is a doozy. I'm sorry for your losses as well. It's a shitty club to belong to, as you well know. I sorta compare it to being a veteran of war, except it's a war on drugs, which I've already stated is not a thing. "Drugs" can't care or react or defend themselves. I just watched a great documentary about Nan Goldin and her fight against the Sacklers called All the Beauty and the Bloodshed. I feel like you might appreciate it as well. Nan feels like kinfolk to me, as do so many in the comments section.
Thank you for the recommendation! You correctly sussed out my deep respect for Nan Goldin.
The fact that your bae checks so many dream boxes. Gives me hope that I can manifest the same for myself!
Whenever I think of all my fun friends who’ve been felled by life (and wild partying), I can only admit that the world wasn’t ready to accommodate them in their fullness. What I miss most about them is their unfulfilled potential.
Yes! The unfulfilled potential is an emotional gut punch!
Phillip k. Dick has a beautiful dedication in A Scanner Darkly to all his fallen friends that has stuck with me for years. That they were punished too harshly for their "crimes." Apparently writing it was a painful process and his wife would often find him openly crying during its creation. I relate to that so much.
To further give you hope, DD nor myself were the best versions of ourselves when we met. We've definitely evolved together over the years and have both made many major changes to our lives in order to live in harmony with each other (or as near harmony as two people who love to be loud can produce!) my biggest piece of advice is to choose a partner who is truly your partner and allow them to make up for their mistakes, even the major ones (hopefully there won't be too many and they'll be spread out over time) the exceptions being anything at all abusive or manipulative. We knew early on we had the potential to be a great love story, but we had to work towards it like it was our job! Especially in the first few years. Also, its totally normal to love someone to death and also be completely fed up with them in the moment. It'll pass. Most things do.
2.2! And was that preferred because of not wanting to get to intoxicated that early in the day (save that for later)? When I lived in Australia briefly before starting sassy, I would go out with some of the people who became the sassy magazine staff. I could never keep up with my share of all the pitchers of beer being downed at our lunches and I always thought they were skeptical of me because I didn't drink as much as they did. But boy was that fun! And not 2.2 or even my college years 3.2.
I’m so glad I went back and read this entire story. Addiction is a bitch, and our punitive approach to helping people who are addicts is the opposite of what many people need. What a gift it was to find someone who loves you and trusted you to find your way out, on your own but with his support. Thank you for sharing!
That trust thing was tricky for sure. Being so totally honest was scary at first, but eventually led him to believe me in all situations. My late mother once told me that she wished I would occasionally lie to her about my life lol. After twenty years of no holds barred honesty, I have to say it was the right thing to do, even if it did almost derail the whole thing once upon a time.
This piece struck a chord with me. I have been taking Dr prescribed opiates for chronic pain for 30 years. I no longer have access to the medicines that relieved my pain due to increased restrictions. However, if I don't take what's available, I am bed ridden. Thank you so much for sharing. I am so in for a zoom reunion. I will make it fit my schedule!
Yay for being in for the party and flexible about timing. I will let you know. And I'm sure Kris will appreciate your comment here, as do I. That sucks about restrictions making it so that you can't get meds you actually need. That sounds more common than I even realized. Take care.
I feel you on that front. I blame the DEA for making everyone shit scared except for the very people who created the situation to begin with. I recommend the documentary The Beauty and the Bloodshed to another reader, and I recommend it to you as well. It's satisfying to see the Sacklers get called out for their predatory actions. Oxy is a great drug as long as it's prescribed when appropriate. When I heard that people were being told to take 40mg oxys every four hours needed or not I nearly fainted. That's a shit load of Oxy! I'm almost to the twenty year mark myself, and I'm sorry you are in the same boat as well. I dream of relief as I know you do too. Not all pain killers are created equal.
Jane - I was a Jane reader and then an intern under Laura Morgan in Los Angeles. I was so excited to be an intern I got to cover Coachella, the Olsen Twins and more but unfortunately the next edition was the last (Zooey deschanel on the cover). So my first time in print was the last! 😭
I am in for in person if it’s in April (I live in Southern California but headed to NY in April) and if not i would love to join a zoom party.
Amazing! It's great to reconnect with you and I'll definitely keep that in mind with scheduling the reunion. Thank you! And also thank you for reading this story twice – it's one of the longer ones that I've run, so it means even more that you did. See you soon!
Thank you for reading it twice! NYC in April sounds great to me. I've only been once in early May 2019 and I loved every single second of it. Literally dancing amongst the trash and rats.
Sucks to get in right when a good thing is ending, but better than nothing at all I say! You're here now, with best folks, so that's something worth celebrating.
Jane! I’m totally in for a Moz-free Zoom party! My schedule’s weird but workable, since I’m about to start a bunch of travels. I can probably work around whatever works for the most folks.
Kris! Even after all of our emails and documents and technological glitches and notes back-and-forth, there's still more I want to say to you about your incredible story. First of all, thank you for being so completely upfront. Your honesty and vulnerability is inspiring.
Also: Now I kind of want Dave to write his version of this relationship story.
Also again: as I was editing, and began realizing that no, some of the people in the story who were originally not named were not all one person, and that you had in fact lost multiple people to their addictions, I found it so startling and powerful and moving that in the context of you advocating for a relationship where you are the addict that you would also include such stark facts about how addiction affected so many people that you knew and loved. That kind of juxtaposition makes this opinion piece so layered and interesting to me. Because it's not all tied up with a bow and no one has it all figured out.
Thank you and I love you for working on this with me.
I agree with everything Jane said (as usual.) This essay is really special. Dave is a king but you are also a queen, so it’s perfect !
Well said, Lena! (As usual.)
And Lena, in case I you might find your way to Oklahoma during your upcoming book tour (which I'll be pre-ordering as soon I type this) please know I'm at your disposal for any Okie sightseeing adventures. As a chronic illness girlie, I'm also available for wallowing around in sweatpants and watching trash TV -- always.
Lena! Thank you so much for your kind words! Dave is so proud of this essay and the good responses it has gotten so far. I'm truly overjoyed that it is edited/published by such an icon like Jane, who has been nothing but kind and supportive throughout (14 year old Kris is losing her mind right now!) and that another woman writer whose work I truly love and admire likes it too!? C'mon! Amazing!
Jane- I'm already encouraging Dave to write his follow up essay from his perspective, such a great idea. He's so smart, dark and hilarious I know you'll love whatever he comes up with. Thank you again for everything!🖤
😭💔 ahhh! Thank you!
This article includes so much that moves me — but that caption and that photo of your two rocking out is solid gold. The world needs more Daves and whatever the plural of Kris is.
Are you talking specifically about the caption on the black-and-white photo where she says Dave on bass and me on drugs… I mean, drums? The moment I got that caption from Kris, I wrote to her screaming – it is one of my favorites ever. She said some people think her humor is dark, but not us!
YES! I chortled so loudly my dog moved.
And then I just guffawed so hard at that response but my daughter's cat remained stoic.
Cats and dogs, man. Cats and dogs.
That's a compliment I love to hear! 😆
Also, what a sweet comment and I agree!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this Kris Rose (what a name!) The wrap up gave my heart wings - this advocacy for being your own authoritative regulator- and Dave’s trusting,non-judgmental approach to how you decide to handle yourself. I recently heard a sociologist April Henning talk about this in the vein of: what is with people who want us all to be totally clean, pure and sober all the time when our environment is riddled with toxins and impurities? Acceptance leads to balance and better choices. I’m ever so grateful to be hearing and reading new perspectives on this topic. 💌
Jane, I’m in for the Zoom party!
Kris, what a great piece. I’m so sorry to read about the misdiagnosis of your thyroid. It’s unfortunately super common for women…I have some experience with that myself.
I’m all for finding balance with substances and not judging anyone for being unable to “raw dog” daily life. I mean, just reading the news or hearing anything that goes on out in these here streets these days…*shudder*
Sorry to hear that you are familiar with medical mayhem too, wish things were different.
I think empathy is the key. Most of the people I've lost to addiction have been ashamed of their own need to go back to using and therefore end up in a more dangerous situation due to isolation. I think shame is a killer when it comes to substance use and abuse. Thank you for having an open mind and heart in this matter, it means a lot to those of us who deal with so much judgement.
I've been teaching myself and others about the vital importance of practicing self-kindness. When you begin to learn how to be kind to yourself, the effects ripple out and everyone benefits.
99% of the time judgement comes from fear of what one doesn't understand. We've been conditioned to designate anyone who doesn't conform to what we've been told is acceptable behavior "other" in our society.
I think we are at a tipping point, and that the shift is moving in the direction of compassion. That's what I am choosing to believe, anyway.
Jane! I missed the last one, but please count me in (virtually) for All Tomorrow's Parties! (Sorry, I had to! 🤣🍌) Kris, I'm so glad you're in a much better place these days, with a supportive partner who appreciates you!
Thank you Alyssa! Me too girl, me too! It's been a long strange ride, but I'm still here.
Nico!!
Count me in Jane!! I am going to read this article and come back with feedback!!! Thanks for opening your life again to us!!
Thank you, Nicole! It's already a party because you're coming! I can't wait.
I would love to join the Zoom party* weekend days sadly probably easiest... or summer, in case you're actually tallying preferences. I was a JANE intern in 99 or 00 winter and summer bc alas Sassy folded before I could follow in Chloe's footsteps. One bizarre task I just remember was combing through footage for checker cabs featured in movies. And drooling over the fashion closet and the freebies counter. Golden days of delicious-smelling print mags. Gigi and Stephanie Trong were my cool big sisters for that brief moment.
Got the internship thx to cutting class at Oberlin to meet Kim France who was speaking about journalism. Thank you Jane and Kim. Did I interview on spring break? Did I have to apply through snail mail? Bizarre world of late 90s.
It's way past schoolnight bedtime so, enough, but a quick nod to the beauty and joy of Kris' piece. Also good thing you didn't move to Portland and get sucked into that substance vortex. And THIS. YES! "Let me tell you, “in range,” is just a made up number taken from mostly white dudes because most medicine is tested on and for the benefit of white dudes"
*(Zoom party = something I am so not nostalgic for but am so nostalgic for Sassy and JANE forever it's worth it)
I'm so so glad I'll get to reunite with you. I hope you did get a lot of free stuff while you were working at Jane. One of the shittiest things when Condé Nast made us stop accepting designer presents was that we no longer had really good stuff to give to the interns. And to this day, I feel strange about not having a closet fully stocked with new items to go into to borrow tights or deodorant or whatever I might need. I don't think I went to a drugstore for 20 years because it was all right there.
And I am with you about not being that down for Zoom anything but I think this will be worth it too. I also like weekend nights or summer and I'll keep that in mind when scheduling. So great to hear back from you after all this time and I look forward to more catching up. XO
What a dream job!
Thank you, "in range," kept me needlessly sick and in pain longer than I should have been. Women are researching and finding our own solutions (per usual) so I have faith that someday something will crack the last part of the code and I'll get some relief.
I’m honestly stuck on what is causing the chronic pain in this article, because that’s literally my side-gig: I solve medical mysteries. It’s much more impressive if you see my before I was my oncologist and after pics. Then I’m like the White Witch of the White Coats.
I like not in person parties. I’d go!
And I’m still firmly team Long-Form Jane. And I’m stoked about the ANTM as a watcher until ‘you at home could vote’. Yick.
So glad you will come not in person!
I never watched it at the time but I'm aware that ANTM switched to audience voting and it does sound ick.
Also, I fully expected you to have insight into what Kris is dealing with pain-wise and maybe with more info you can help. Thank you for the thorough comment!
It was interesting when the special came out, and I was one if the old-ass Gen X people saying THINGS WERE DIFFERENT THEN
But things do evolve. I know. I was in therapy in the 1980’s when not one of the top dx’s now existed.
I'm very open to boring you with my long medical history and my struggle to find out exactly what is the major engine behind my chronic pain. I also love witches so...
Absolutely! Right now I’m working on histamines causing insomnia and stress induced parasomnias, but sleep disorders are easy.
Oh wow! I know that inflammation is a huge factor in my chronic pain, so perhaps histamines are involved? Would love to hear more about it when you get a chance.
Kris, The comments on your story really add to its complexity. It is fire. And a reliable bae who is cheerfully and perennially the DD is just as alluring a concept as one who regularly cooks and/or cleans. Where you really lucked out tho, is that Dave is also your band mate. The rock and roll party girls’ wet dream.
I too have many former party friends who hopefully RIP. They were the best time. I miss all the things that I could raucously cackle about with them every day. Another friend who misses one of them and I have started saying “growing old isn’t for babies.”
I hope that you find the source of your chronic pain! I suspect some witchy woman wise in the ways of the womb may be able to help you. I doubt that some White dude doctor will be able to. But I am guessing that’s something you already know.
Jane, I’m much more of an “in-person” vibe, but sometimes get curious enough to check out a Zoom. That is all to say that I may come to a Zoom but also may not. So I hope you plan one, but can’t promise to come if you do.
What a great comment. I'm sorry that you also have lost friends to substances. I have also but somehow not in nearly the numbers that Kris has. And it's strange for me to hear people as young as I think you and Kris are having already lost so many people. I was really shocked when I saw that in Kris's story.
And I hear you about the zoom thing. Maybe I'll consider doing what I did for our last book club meeting which is have the people who are in the area come physically to my apartment and then zoom it for the people who can't come. It worked really well last time. Let's see! Thanks for caring either way!
I'm sneaking up on fifty, and I often find myself out pacing those in their 70s as far as funerals attended stats go. Even friends in scenes who are from major cities where drugs are far cheaper and readily available are shocked by Tulsa's body count. So proud of my friends who run S.H.O.T.S. (stop harm on Tulsa streets) and do outreach here. Harm reduction is the key. Narcan is so much better than the old wives tale strategies we used back in the day to try and reverse overdoses. It definitely teaches you to tell your friends you love and appreciate them.
Love this advice and thank you!🙏🏿
I don't mean to brag, but DD also cooks and does laundry 😀 not to mention that doing dishes is a kind of meditative activity for him as well. I really hit the jackpot. Just so it doesn't become nauseating, I'm in charge of all the dusting, organizing, countertop wiping and general house cleaning duties. Since I'm a maximalist in many ways, I have a lot of different collections that collect a fair amount of cat hair and dust, so it is up to me to make sure we don't devolve into a grey gardens situation.
Growing old is not for the weak indeed. I feel simultaneously tough AF and also on the brink of total collapse. This tightwire act is a doozy. I'm sorry for your losses as well. It's a shitty club to belong to, as you well know. I sorta compare it to being a veteran of war, except it's a war on drugs, which I've already stated is not a thing. "Drugs" can't care or react or defend themselves. I just watched a great documentary about Nan Goldin and her fight against the Sacklers called All the Beauty and the Bloodshed. I feel like you might appreciate it as well. Nan feels like kinfolk to me, as do so many in the comments section.
Thank you for the recommendation! You correctly sussed out my deep respect for Nan Goldin.
The fact that your bae checks so many dream boxes. Gives me hope that I can manifest the same for myself!
Whenever I think of all my fun friends who’ve been felled by life (and wild partying), I can only admit that the world wasn’t ready to accommodate them in their fullness. What I miss most about them is their unfulfilled potential.
Yes! The unfulfilled potential is an emotional gut punch!
Phillip k. Dick has a beautiful dedication in A Scanner Darkly to all his fallen friends that has stuck with me for years. That they were punished too harshly for their "crimes." Apparently writing it was a painful process and his wife would often find him openly crying during its creation. I relate to that so much.
To further give you hope, DD nor myself were the best versions of ourselves when we met. We've definitely evolved together over the years and have both made many major changes to our lives in order to live in harmony with each other (or as near harmony as two people who love to be loud can produce!) my biggest piece of advice is to choose a partner who is truly your partner and allow them to make up for their mistakes, even the major ones (hopefully there won't be too many and they'll be spread out over time) the exceptions being anything at all abusive or manipulative. We knew early on we had the potential to be a great love story, but we had to work towards it like it was our job! Especially in the first few years. Also, its totally normal to love someone to death and also be completely fed up with them in the moment. It'll pass. Most things do.
While living in West Australia in the 90’s our “breakfast beer” was Swan Larger 2.2. It came in black bottles. Meat pie and a Desmond, mate.
2.2! And was that preferred because of not wanting to get to intoxicated that early in the day (save that for later)? When I lived in Australia briefly before starting sassy, I would go out with some of the people who became the sassy magazine staff. I could never keep up with my share of all the pitchers of beer being downed at our lunches and I always thought they were skeptical of me because I didn't drink as much as they did. But boy was that fun! And not 2.2 or even my college years 3.2.
I'm very familiar with beers for Breakfast, I think Okies and Aussies have a lot of similarities 😉
I’m so glad I went back and read this entire story. Addiction is a bitch, and our punitive approach to helping people who are addicts is the opposite of what many people need. What a gift it was to find someone who loves you and trusted you to find your way out, on your own but with his support. Thank you for sharing!
That trust thing was tricky for sure. Being so totally honest was scary at first, but eventually led him to believe me in all situations. My late mother once told me that she wished I would occasionally lie to her about my life lol. After twenty years of no holds barred honesty, I have to say it was the right thing to do, even if it did almost derail the whole thing once upon a time.
This piece struck a chord with me. I have been taking Dr prescribed opiates for chronic pain for 30 years. I no longer have access to the medicines that relieved my pain due to increased restrictions. However, if I don't take what's available, I am bed ridden. Thank you so much for sharing. I am so in for a zoom reunion. I will make it fit my schedule!
Yay for being in for the party and flexible about timing. I will let you know. And I'm sure Kris will appreciate your comment here, as do I. That sucks about restrictions making it so that you can't get meds you actually need. That sounds more common than I even realized. Take care.
I feel you on that front. I blame the DEA for making everyone shit scared except for the very people who created the situation to begin with. I recommend the documentary The Beauty and the Bloodshed to another reader, and I recommend it to you as well. It's satisfying to see the Sacklers get called out for their predatory actions. Oxy is a great drug as long as it's prescribed when appropriate. When I heard that people were being told to take 40mg oxys every four hours needed or not I nearly fainted. That's a shit load of Oxy! I'm almost to the twenty year mark myself, and I'm sorry you are in the same boat as well. I dream of relief as I know you do too. Not all pain killers are created equal.
I've seen you recommended the beauty and the bloodshed elsewhere here too and I can't wait to get my hands on that one. Thank you!
I feel strongly that you will love it as I do. Nan is a national treasure.
Excellent piece 👏👏👏I read it twice.
Jane - I was a Jane reader and then an intern under Laura Morgan in Los Angeles. I was so excited to be an intern I got to cover Coachella, the Olsen Twins and more but unfortunately the next edition was the last (Zooey deschanel on the cover). So my first time in print was the last! 😭
I am in for in person if it’s in April (I live in Southern California but headed to NY in April) and if not i would love to join a zoom party.
Amazing! It's great to reconnect with you and I'll definitely keep that in mind with scheduling the reunion. Thank you! And also thank you for reading this story twice – it's one of the longer ones that I've run, so it means even more that you did. See you soon!
Thank you for reading it twice! NYC in April sounds great to me. I've only been once in early May 2019 and I loved every single second of it. Literally dancing amongst the trash and rats.
Sucks to get in right when a good thing is ending, but better than nothing at all I say! You're here now, with best folks, so that's something worth celebrating.
Jane! I’m totally in for a Moz-free Zoom party! My schedule’s weird but workable, since I’m about to start a bunch of travels. I can probably work around whatever works for the most folks.
🤣
❤️
I’ll be there!
You'd better be!!