A great friend of mine once flew me to Brazil to meet up for a visit, and because he was paying, and because I wanted to be virtuous and humble, I chose coach tickets. It turns out it was Rio's
Fashion Week, which I hadn't realized, so on the return flight,walking down the aisle past all of my fellow editors in first class to go back to my coach seat, felt totally awesome and totally superior. Maybe the only time I've ever felt that way with that crowd. Thanks for bringing back that memory, Mark!
I flew a few weeks ago on Southwest. A few weeks from now, I'll be flying basic economy on Delta. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. The only thing that is better about air travel now than before is now the entire airplane is non-smoking. Once upon a time, having a no smoking section on a passenger jet was like having a no peeing section in a public swimming pool.
That comparison between the no Pee section of the pool and the plane is cracking me up andso perfect. We've all (of a certain age at least) been there in that row with the sign on top of the seatback in front of you that says no smoking section. Meaning that the person directly in front of you whose hand is 6 inches away from your headis smoking up a storm.
Amen, my mile-high brother from another mother. And I hope it was genuine, and not satire. I fly a ton, usually overseas, almost always in coach (Basic, yes) and enjoy all the simple pleasures you enumerated: the too-hot entree, the voyeuristic movie-watching, the thrill of getting on in one place and getting off in another--often on another continent. I recently flew coach to Delhi, a 14+-hour affair on United that was surprisingly painless. (Okay, I did manage to snag that weird seat that's the last 3-across before the 2-across ones start, so I had nothing in front of me. I'm about 6' tall so that's a plus). I never (ever) sleep more than an hour on a flight so a lie-flat bed is but a cruel tease. (I once flew 1st class on Emirates and had what amounted to my own room, and slept about 45 minutes total on the very comfy bed, even with Ambien and a snort of champagne with my caviar.) I also bring books but can rarely read for more than about half an hour at a stretch. Instead, I open my laptop and do work (more virtue signaling), or watch movies I'd never pay for IRL (The Fall Guy, anyone?) although I must admit I'd be far too embarrassed to watch The Notebook. I ALWAYS take the AirTrain via Howard Beach (even more economical than taking the LIRR to Jamaica!) True, I could easily snap out of it and realize it's all just plain awful, but I'm content in my bubble.
What a brilliant comment. I'm so impressed with your levels of commitment. And this had better not be satire, because Mark had me fully convinced and I would not be nearly as interested in publishing it if it were. I like actual weirdness!
I love this. Especially the Air Train commentary. I’m an Air-Train evangelist myself. If I were to do a Ted Talk, it would be about taking public transportation to the airport. Thanks for the laughs, Mark!
And thank you for the comment! I would like to hear your TED talk because I have a long standing issue with using multiple forms of transportation to get to other forms of transportation. I need to get over it!
Hesitant to do the official TED Talk due to my own long-standing issue with trusting anyone wearing a lapel mic. Suffice it to say that the NYC public-transport-to-airport options can be quicker, cost almost nothing, allow you to read on the way without getting carsick, are eco friendlier…you pretty much feel like a super-hero the whole time.
I do?! Haha. Well I will probably Google these terms eventually but for now I will be happy knowing I can live without such accoutrement … at least in Jane world! (The only world I want to live in.)
I’m so glad that I am old enough to have experienced the tail end of air travel of the past. Under 25 fare on the Pan Am shuttle between DC and NYC, American Airlines to PR, Jamaica, Bahamas…it really was grand. Airports could be relaxing places where one could shop and have a nice meal. I hold on to those memories as I settle into my Economy Plus seat. 😊
Haha and you're right, it really was grand. I was always at my most relaxed on airplanes – especially during turbulence, but that's still the case and that's my own weird reaction not related to the story.
My husband and I have been semi-long distance for 4 years now so I’m flying to him 2x a month on average…I live in airports now lol and this is so spot on! The neck pillow for the 3-hour flight how about the same pillow for a one hour flight?? I’m dying! 😂😂😂
A great friend of mine once flew me to Brazil to meet up for a visit, and because he was paying, and because I wanted to be virtuous and humble, I chose coach tickets. It turns out it was Rio's
Fashion Week, which I hadn't realized, so on the return flight,walking down the aisle past all of my fellow editors in first class to go back to my coach seat, felt totally awesome and totally superior. Maybe the only time I've ever felt that way with that crowd. Thanks for bringing back that memory, Mark!
A hook line about cheese is sure to reel me in. 🧀
Mark, you had me laughing out loud on paragraph #1!!! 😆 Love your voice. Look forward to reading more essays from you.
I love that cheese line also. Good taste!
Satire at its finest.
I flew a few weeks ago on Southwest. A few weeks from now, I'll be flying basic economy on Delta. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. The only thing that is better about air travel now than before is now the entire airplane is non-smoking. Once upon a time, having a no smoking section on a passenger jet was like having a no peeing section in a public swimming pool.
That comparison between the no Pee section of the pool and the plane is cracking me up andso perfect. We've all (of a certain age at least) been there in that row with the sign on top of the seatback in front of you that says no smoking section. Meaning that the person directly in front of you whose hand is 6 inches away from your headis smoking up a storm.
I feel your pain.
Haha and we both probably have some (hopefully minuscule) lung damage to prove it.
yes, that's the spirit. appreciate the little things.
Amen, my mile-high brother from another mother. And I hope it was genuine, and not satire. I fly a ton, usually overseas, almost always in coach (Basic, yes) and enjoy all the simple pleasures you enumerated: the too-hot entree, the voyeuristic movie-watching, the thrill of getting on in one place and getting off in another--often on another continent. I recently flew coach to Delhi, a 14+-hour affair on United that was surprisingly painless. (Okay, I did manage to snag that weird seat that's the last 3-across before the 2-across ones start, so I had nothing in front of me. I'm about 6' tall so that's a plus). I never (ever) sleep more than an hour on a flight so a lie-flat bed is but a cruel tease. (I once flew 1st class on Emirates and had what amounted to my own room, and slept about 45 minutes total on the very comfy bed, even with Ambien and a snort of champagne with my caviar.) I also bring books but can rarely read for more than about half an hour at a stretch. Instead, I open my laptop and do work (more virtue signaling), or watch movies I'd never pay for IRL (The Fall Guy, anyone?) although I must admit I'd be far too embarrassed to watch The Notebook. I ALWAYS take the AirTrain via Howard Beach (even more economical than taking the LIRR to Jamaica!) True, I could easily snap out of it and realize it's all just plain awful, but I'm content in my bubble.
See you on the Air Train!
What a brilliant comment. I'm so impressed with your levels of commitment. And this had better not be satire, because Mark had me fully convinced and I would not be nearly as interested in publishing it if it were. I like actual weirdness!
I love this. Especially the Air Train commentary. I’m an Air-Train evangelist myself. If I were to do a Ted Talk, it would be about taking public transportation to the airport. Thanks for the laughs, Mark!
And thank you for the comment! I would like to hear your TED talk because I have a long standing issue with using multiple forms of transportation to get to other forms of transportation. I need to get over it!
Hesitant to do the official TED Talk due to my own long-standing issue with trusting anyone wearing a lapel mic. Suffice it to say that the NYC public-transport-to-airport options can be quicker, cost almost nothing, allow you to read on the way without getting carsick, are eco friendlier…you pretty much feel like a super-hero the whole time.
The lapel mic is definitely indicative of untrustworthiness. And you know what I find even more suspect? Someone using a stylus.
If someone pulls one out, run!!
I don’t know what either of these things are so I guess I’m super trustworthy??
I do?! Haha. Well I will probably Google these terms eventually but for now I will be happy knowing I can live without such accoutrement … at least in Jane world! (The only world I want to live in.)
Stylus or lapel mic = you need me more than I need you. For that reason, I’m out.
😆😆😆😆
I'm out with you!
everyone is like get rid of your handheld wired mic. 🎤 why?!? it’s a magic wand! 💫
I’m so glad that I am old enough to have experienced the tail end of air travel of the past. Under 25 fare on the Pan Am shuttle between DC and NYC, American Airlines to PR, Jamaica, Bahamas…it really was grand. Airports could be relaxing places where one could shop and have a nice meal. I hold on to those memories as I settle into my Economy Plus seat. 😊
Haha and you're right, it really was grand. I was always at my most relaxed on airplanes – especially during turbulence, but that's still the case and that's my own weird reaction not related to the story.
Oh how I loved this. Thankyou!
Thank YOU and I'm so happy that you're here
My husband and I have been semi-long distance for 4 years now so I’m flying to him 2x a month on average…I live in airports now lol and this is so spot on! The neck pillow for the 3-hour flight how about the same pillow for a one hour flight?? I’m dying! 😂😂😂