When I finally asked for help after three decades of anorexia and bulimia, I got treated like a criminal. Everyone's talking about eating disorders, but has the treatment industry stepped up?
Jane, I love that you and Michael have such conversations. And I love that Sassy didn’t have weight loss garbage. I know I didn’t notice it at the time, but I also know that’s one of the reasons why reading Sassy left me feeling good, unlike other magazines.
Amanda, this is a great piece of writing. I don’t have anything to add other than it’s a travesty that treatment so often mimics punishment.
Thank you so much for all of that! I realized as I was writing that intro that a lot of what I did of importance in sassy and jane was in what I DIDN'T include so I didn't expect you all to notice it, but I hoped that the lack of all of those evil messages would make a difference. When I hear from some of you that you think it did, I'm overjoyed.
I love Amanda's piece very much. The end is so moving to me. And I think she and I both feel like we want to take a break from eating disorders as subject matter, but then of course, when and if it's needed, I will do it again. It's horrifying to me, but keeps me going, to see some issues in particular (major one is abortion rights) actually regress from sassy times.
Agreed wholeheartedly. Amanda and I have been talking today and the care she is putting into every word of this even while she is going through something else today I won't go into, shows how much she cares and how much she deserves a break.
I still beat myself up for not picking the right place, for doing it wrong, for wanting so badly to get help RIGHT FUCKING NOW (then). But that’s asking too much of those in pain — to triage and make sense of the chaos.
Let's figure out how to stop beating ourselves up. It's very easy for me to see that you should not at all beat yourself up in this situation. But I also know that it's hard for me to forgive myself in those same types of ways. Let's get there.
What a visceral experience it was to read that essay. I also really appreciate that you showed us that eating disorders can hit anyone—even 12 year old boys.
Your essays on this subject should be required reading for anyone who hasn’t experienced disordered eating.
What a great thought about the required reading. I've learned so much from Amanda and her unexpected takes and details. And her bravery in telling it all. I found her one day scrolling through Substack and DMed her seeing if she would contribute to AJPT and boy has she gone further than I ever even would have hoped. By the way, she also has her own incredible Substack called A Long Story, which is where I found her and I'll come back and link it here if no one else does first.
I agree with you that's a really important point about Even young boys being susceptible. Thanks for the careful reading at the comment!
Amanda, you should feel proud that you recognized so quickly what a charade that was, and advocated for yourself to find a better program. It's not easy to do, especially when you most need help. Deep shame on that facility, and every 'treatment' program that operates only to extract money.
Jane, I love that you and Michael have such conversations. And I love that Sassy didn’t have weight loss garbage. I know I didn’t notice it at the time, but I also know that’s one of the reasons why reading Sassy left me feeling good, unlike other magazines.
Amanda, this is a great piece of writing. I don’t have anything to add other than it’s a travesty that treatment so often mimics punishment.
Thank you so much for all of that! I realized as I was writing that intro that a lot of what I did of importance in sassy and jane was in what I DIDN'T include so I didn't expect you all to notice it, but I hoped that the lack of all of those evil messages would make a difference. When I hear from some of you that you think it did, I'm overjoyed.
I love Amanda's piece very much. The end is so moving to me. And I think she and I both feel like we want to take a break from eating disorders as subject matter, but then of course, when and if it's needed, I will do it again. It's horrifying to me, but keeps me going, to see some issues in particular (major one is abortion rights) actually regress from sassy times.
It’s so sickening how prevalent so many of these issues still are. If only keeping women tightly controlled would go out of style…
Hear hear! (I've never been sure if it is written that way or here here. Tell me if you know!)
Thank you, Robin. Gonna take a break from the ED beat :)
Understandable! It’s hard and exhausting to poke at the sore spot too often. You more than deserve a break and some peace.
Agreed wholeheartedly. Amanda and I have been talking today and the care she is putting into every word of this even while she is going through something else today I won't go into, shows how much she cares and how much she deserves a break.
I still beat myself up for not picking the right place, for doing it wrong, for wanting so badly to get help RIGHT FUCKING NOW (then). But that’s asking too much of those in pain — to triage and make sense of the chaos.
Let's figure out how to stop beating ourselves up. It's very easy for me to see that you should not at all beat yourself up in this situation. But I also know that it's hard for me to forgive myself in those same types of ways. Let's get there.
Oh Amanda…that place wasn’t right for anyone.
What a visceral experience it was to read that essay. I also really appreciate that you showed us that eating disorders can hit anyone—even 12 year old boys.
Your essays on this subject should be required reading for anyone who hasn’t experienced disordered eating.
What a great thought about the required reading. I've learned so much from Amanda and her unexpected takes and details. And her bravery in telling it all. I found her one day scrolling through Substack and DMed her seeing if she would contribute to AJPT and boy has she gone further than I ever even would have hoped. By the way, she also has her own incredible Substack called A Long Story, which is where I found her and I'll come back and link it here if no one else does first.
I agree with you that's a really important point about Even young boys being susceptible. Thanks for the careful reading at the comment!
Amanda, you should feel proud that you recognized so quickly what a charade that was, and advocated for yourself to find a better program. It's not easy to do, especially when you most need help. Deep shame on that facility, and every 'treatment' program that operates only to extract money.
What a powerful comment, wow! I wish I had said all that. I also like your use of “deep shame on.” Thanks for this.