17 Comments
User's avatar
Vanessa K. De Luca's avatar

This story had me laughing out loud the entire time! Navigating the suburban jungle can be treacherous--all the politics, the cliques, the kids' assorted food allergies, yikes!

Expand full comment
Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

I’m so glad you laughed!! If we can’t laugh about this stuff we are all screwed.

Expand full comment
Jane Pratt's avatar

I just came back to reread this before I recommended it in a newsletter and boy, is it even funnier the second time around and the closer we have gotten! You are one of a kind, Corynne, and thanks for the laughs (again)!

Expand full comment
L.R. Dempsey's avatar

So funny!! I don’t have the answers. But your piece is motivating me to work on my own take about suburban paradise in which a mom posted a video of me on her ring cam walking up and down her driveway with my toddler, captioned, “does anyone know who this is on my property???!!!”

Expand full comment
Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

😮😮😮😮

Expand full comment
Jane Pratt's avatar

Hilarious! If you want to write something for us, email me at jane@anotherjaneprattthing.com

Expand full comment
Holly Oreschnick's avatar

I relate to this so hard! When I moved into my now-husband's home before we were married I tried so hard to fit in with the typical suburban moms that I started to forget who I was. Now I'm at the I don't give a shit phase of my life which is so freeing.

Expand full comment
Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

That’s it exactly … forgetting who I was … glad I’m not alone in this.

Expand full comment
Katie's avatar

Gabapentin, trazadone, and meclizine are all anxiety-reducing and non-habit forming 🙏🏼 - also, an SSRI may help general, daily anxiety (versus acute situations) and is also not addictive 🙂

Expand full comment
Jane Pratt's avatar

You are so nice to weigh in with these suggestions. I know Corynne will appreciate it. I am an SSRI person myself.

Expand full comment
Freema Jade's avatar

I told a mom from book club (and her husband!) that the upshot of having a stage five clinger for a child is that my son now knows everything there is to know about the menstrual cycle.

Fuck. Me.

OH MY JOHN WATERS, I did a spit take while reading this - my son knows everything about the menstrual cycle, and he is 4. You are hilarious, relatable, articulate, charming, and so cool. I feel like radical self-love and more positive self-talk might help you feel more calm - not in a dismissive way, it won't make you klonopin calm. There are herbal drugs that you dissolve under your tongue that actually work really well, but not if you're taking ssris or some other similar medications. Seratonin syndrome is no joke - I did it to myself once and wanted to die, and I can handle my drugs. Dissolvable or chewable Gabba or L-Theanine is the stuff, but for real, tread lightly when mixing with certain scripts.

Also, fuck those people that don't appreciate your piñata assistance - it sounds like you are generously contributing to the joy and safety of everyone. Please don't do anything you don't want to do. If you don't like trying, don't do it! You are perfect exactly how you are.

Thank you for sharing all of this.

Expand full comment
Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

Haha thank you Jade!!! I started on Zoloft and it’s helping a lot. I think the person doing the piñata appreciated it! I am the Menty B queen

Expand full comment
Jane Pratt's avatar

Oh my John Waters!! God, I love you.

Expand full comment
Anna Carey's avatar

Making friends as an adult is BEYOND AWKWARD. Feel you, love you, and love this article.

Expand full comment
Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

Love you, too! Thank you!

Expand full comment
Kirsten's avatar

I agree, so so funny! And it's also funny, but not in the haha funny kind of way - no matter how much you think you've moved past wanting to be liked, there are always those moments when you're reminded that you truly do. No answers, but I do just think we do. Everyone. No exceptions :)

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Oct 22Edited
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Corynne Steindler Cirilli's avatar

I would love that!!

Expand full comment