It's Your Monthly Horoscope! By The One And Only Autistic Astrologer!

Plus! Jane shows you how to get free stuff from her! And she tells you more than you want to know, as per usual.

Hello Spaghettios!

I am trying out a new term of endearment. What do you think? I ask that in all sincerity because just this morning I unsubscribed from a newsletter that I like because the greeting called me something I can't stand being called. So like the sassy brat that I am, I tapped that unsubscribe link with a vengeance, satisfied to be making my statement that I'm sure no one heard. I'll probably resubscribe tonight. If there is anything I should never call you, let me know. I am hoping I circumvented that possibility today with my oddball choice.

A warning that today's note is going to be a mixed bag of emotions (we already got anger and petty revenge out of the way above), because I was in the middle of writing you some silliness when something very unsilly happened.

First, the current AJPT lighthearted business: The reader who hit the jackpot, winning my Sassy T-shirt offer, adorably filled out your order form with the full name “It’s Me!” And you’re right! It is you! You have won, as promised, my signature on your shirt. (Don’t everyone get all Black Friday - or even Cyber Monday - about it and start pummeling your keyboards - I know my signature is a popular item, but there will be other chances! Such as any time you ask me for it while I can still write.)

One minor glitch is that I did not intercept the order soon enough to ask if you in fact even wanted my signature on there, so you will be first receiving the regular shirt you ordered. (It is the greatest softest pinkest shirt ever anyway and a few of us have started wearing ours as good luck charms - that’s how I got my book deal! Try it!)

So “It’s Me!,” (okay, grammarians, if this parenthetical were not here, how would you configure those three punctuation marks - the comma after the quotation marks??) if you want another Sassy shirt in addition, this one with my little name on it, could you please write me at Jane@AnotherJanePrattThing.com and tell me your shipping information and I’ll get it out to you? See, this is why I’m such a savvy businesswoman. When my brother and I had a T-shirt making business as kids down in Durham, North Carolina, we continually disagreed on my customer service policy which was always “when in doubt, or just feeling good, give it away”. Little has changed and I still go to him for financial advice because I can’t see where all the AJPT profits went. Oh well!

Now on to my second order of business: I have FIVE blockbuster life-changing stories lined up for you and will be doling them out here on AJPT as soon as your favorite one-woman machine can get them loaded in and edited and captioned and all the things that I have called fun for my whole working life and still do. (I can say one-woman machine because it’s a guy, Charlie, who along with continual moral support and a great brain when I need it, helps by building those main images with the text over them that would look wonky if I did them - or cropped all wrong like this one I did!) I am dead serious about how much of an exhilarating joy I find editing to be. I wouldn’t quit for all the ancillary-product revenue in the world!

Also, one of those five aforementioned pieces is written by me, so I am hoping you like that one too. That’s all to come soooooon. As a matter of fact, if any of you want to take out the 7-day free trial offer in the middle of this post, I promise to publish as many of them as I can in the next 7 days, at which point you will have fallen so in love with this content and this community and your ability to interact with all of us in the comments that you will never leave anyway. It’s a trap, but a relatively humane and cruelty-free one.

Maybe best of all, today is Horoscope Day, brought to you by the one and only Autistic Astrologer, Bee, who gets it so right every time. And who will give you any additional personalized wisdom you’re craving in the comments. Don’t forget to check out her predictions for the best and worst dates for taking on specific challenges below. You never know when you will be the next reader to have sex for the first time in 5 years!

I love you and let’s talk (meaning I will give you a chance to talk too, unlike this) about anything at all in the comments!

Love, Jane

PS Now we're going to take a steep mood swing in the opposite direction: I’m going to be very very careful with how much I say (not my forte), knowing I’ll tell you a lot more (everything, as always) when it’s no longer a legal issue. My friend was killed months ago. You may remember a time where I was distracted but couldn’t say why, explaining that it wasn’t my story to tell. Well, it’s both a short and a long story. I’m involved because I have evidence that he sent to me. I’m involved because he is my wonderful friend and I want to be involved. I’m involved because it was horrid to read news reports and mutual friends’ writings about his death in ways that dishonored this angel of a person. I’m meeting up with his family today to give them some of his things that I have and to help them clear out and clean up his place, which was also the crime scene. I am bringing them the strength and love from all of you combined, and I will tell you much more as soon as I can. Now let’s pivot back to being selfish - and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love you all. (As opposed to y’all.)

Life unfolds not in the plans we make, but in the choices we dare to follow.

By The Zine Witch

Okay, so picture this: I’m standing under these fluorescent lights, lotion in one hand, fake coconut smell in the air, totally burnt out and dripping in sweat, as I just got written up for wearing black shoes with a single white stripe on it (dress code was all black) and it finally hits me. This job is a high-control cult disguised as a tanning salon. My paycheck literally depended on bullying strangers into buying $80 bottles of lotion and then convincing them to spend more on top of that. Every rule changed by the hour, every manager had a new demand, every customer interaction felt like a test I did not sign up for. And the people who thrived? Not nice. Master manipulators. Smiling while making humans feel guilty for not caring enough. I wanted to quit, cry, laugh, all at once. Somehow surviving that nonsense actually prepared me for the chaos still waiting down the road.

Gemini is ruled by Mercury which is the planet of communication, vehicles, cars, siblings, neighbors, the lungs, shoulders and hands. These are the areas of life to pay attention to this month.

Before I became an astrologer, I’ve had a ton of jobs. One of my favorites to mentally relive for therapy purposes is marching through the mall dressed as a clown for a Halloween store. Wig itching, shoes squeaking, screaming about discounts while kids screamed back and adults recoiled like I was radioactive. I stocked hardware shelves, arguing with strangers about whether a wrench could double as a back scratcher. I waited tables, dodging hangry humans like some kind of unwilling diplomat. And you know what? Each humiliating detour taught me patience, absurdity, and how the universe really loves to test your sense of humor. Eventually, I realized that even in the worst, most ridiculous situations, there’s comedy hiding in plain sight. Laughing at the absurdity became my survival tool, a way to strip all the nonsense down to its core and see what was actually going on. Humor became a mirror, honesty became a compass, and perspective became my secret weapon for not losing my mind.

Sometimes the right path isn’t a straight line, it’s the one that challenges you to know yourself. I have had many jobs both paid and volunteer work. Here is me working at the now defunct Maximum RocknRoll house where I was reviewing zines and participating in their radio show.

And here’s where it gets fun, because all of that chaos actually fits perfectly with the energy of Gemini and Sagittarius this month. Gemini isn’t about careers, it’s about neighborhoods, friends, communication, local networks, gathering information, telling stories, and multitasking like a caffeinated squirrel on a mission. Every clown costume, every lotion sale, every wrench debate embodies Gemini energy: the humor, the duality, the constant scanning of life to figure out what’s absurd, what’s true, and what’s worth holding onto. Gemini energy is basically saying, “Girl, look at the joke in the mess, find the irony in the chaos, and snag that tiny nugget of truth while you’re at it.”

As someone with Gemini in my house of career, I’ve learned the most honest work often happens alone, in a quiet corner, noticing the patterns of the room while others take care of the big picture tasks.

Sagittarius energy, especially under a New Moon, is the big-picture, horizon-scanning, faith-filled vibe. It’s all about stepping back, taking a deep breath, and seeing the pattern in the chaos. Gemini shows you the ridiculous details, Sagittarius helps you see the story they’re creating together. Humor and honesty become your guides, perspective becomes your map, and suddenly the ridiculous, frustrating chaos we thought we were just surviving starts to look like a story worth telling. The Gemini Full Moon highlights duality, curiosity, and laughter, while the Sagittarius New Moon whispers, “Go big or go home, trust the journey, and take that leap.” This month, the moons are basically inviting us to lean into absurdity, embrace curiosity, notice contradictions, and see the larger story all with a smirk on our faces.

We spend so much time climbing ladders that don’t lead to where we want. Pause. Look at the horizon. Is this really the view you’re chasing? A full moon can bring out our werewolf moments. Be sure to put yourself in nature if you can or practice grounding yourself in things that bring you peace.

Sometimes conversations veer into absurd territory….the kind where what people are saying makes no sense, emotions are high, and you feel yourself either exploding or retreating. In those moments, it helps to step back and picture the scene as if you were watching a bizarre little play where everyone is improvising lines they barely understand themselves. Humor doesn’t mean dismissing anyone’s feelings, it means recognizing the ridiculousness of being human, the way ego and fear twist words, and how tiny your problems are in the grand, chaotic theater of life. When you can laugh at the incongruities without losing your own center, perspective arrives almost automatically. And in that laughter, in that pause between absurdity and clarity, you realize you are not broken for feeling overwhelmed, you are awake, alive, and capable of holding your own truth even when the world refuses to make sense.

Best Day for a Conversation:…