Stop Covering Your Summer Sweat And Make It Work For You With These Five Crazy Tricks

Here are some not-too-pricey products that will make you look like you drink the recommended daily amount of water. (Or like Farrah Fawcett, emerging from a sauna in 1976, if you want to go that far.)

Hi Thursday and beyond!

So I am at West Point right now with my mom and stepdad, on the way to that High School reunion you gave me so much good advice about (thank you!). I'm taking notes on everything to share with you, don't you worry.

I love this story that Sara sent me this week and I also LOVE her main photo on it, managing to be both gorgeous and playful at the same time. I just love Sara regardless.

One more thing: The Andover alum whose picture I obnoxiously posted here yesterday, and whom I will see along with everyone else there tomorrow, just took out a paid (nice! thanks!!) subscription to AJPT, so he must've seen me embarrassing myself using his image here yesterday. Of course, now I have just made my entry into this reunion even more awkward. Why do I make things more complicated for myself all the time??

Anyway, please be as good as he is and go ahead and become a paid subscriber now. That way I don't have to coerce you by running your picture here first. That'll work great all around! Plus will let us keep paying our writers! Good stuff!

Enjoy Sara’s unique advice today. I’m following it all - and because she gives options, I'm going for the most extreme version in every scenario. I will get photo evidence if you tell me honestly how it looks.

xo Jane

By Sara Pollock

I’m not sure why it pisses me off to epic proportions, but if you do these two things, I’ll silently seether. Here goes: Point out that I have lipstick on my teeth (I don’t care. I’m embracing my inner Messy Girl!) or draw attention to the fact that I’m sweating (yes, I know. I can feel it. Thanks for your concern.) I’m also acutely aware that it has already started to destroy a great face of makeup. There’s nothing more irritating than perfecting a great base, and then those little sweat beads start running across your forehead. Like a colony of ants ready to invade. Who invited you over here to play?

I’ve been hot and clammy since my teens. Whether it involves a dreaded social interaction or just being unable to take the heat (usually when the weather hits just slightly above a “normal” spring day temperature), my face will be telling you that I’m not okay with this. Ideally, it would be great to place my head inside a fridge at any given moment. Unfortunately, that isn’t usually an option available to me.

So, I get on with my day, feeling relieved I have my emergency stash with me at all times. As someone who's always swaying on the bottom end of the perpetual spiral of low self esteem, maybe you’ll understand why I don’t need my blotchy face pointed out to me every single damn time.

In my era of giving slightly less fucks than usual (but still more than I should in general because I’m realistic) I’ve made the decision to embrace that extra glow/salty sweat. In a strange turn of events, I’m going to amplify it. That’s right. I’m going to purposely add products to my makeup routine that will make me look even more drenched in my own puddle of perspiration. I’m actually thinking of a very specific kind of sweat here. (I realise that sentence sounds ridiculous, but hear me out.) Instead of anxiety-induced sweat, I envision a gritty, overheated late ‘70s Playboy Mansion-esque shimmery sweaty club, gritty sweat in a sauna. A seedy, dirty summer sweat.

Photo of a woman who unknowingly has chin sweat, but it will become apparent as soon as she posts it on social media!

I’m making my sweat the focal point of my look this summer. And I’m not just talking about throwing down two slicks of a highlighter and calling it a day. I’m coming in strong with a whole look to encapsulate the mood. Greasy, oil-slick lids, vinyl-shine lips, and wet look shimmer.

Scroll below to see some of my top picks to create this look. I’ll meet you somewhere between Studio 54 and an early ‘00s pop video.